Name: Yes, Dear
Genre: Comedy
Rating: 5.2
Cast: Anthony Clark, Jean Louisa Kelly, Mike O'Malley, Liza Snyder, Joel Homan

Anthony Clark

Jean Louisa Kelly

Mike O'Malley

Liza Snyder

Joel Homan

Billy Gardell

Alley Mills

Brendon Baerg

Brian Doyle-Murray

Richard Speight Jr.

Greg Garcia

Alan Kirschenbaum

A comedy about two young couples and their outrageously contrasting views on parenting. Greg and Kim Warner struggle on a daily basis to become perfect at the job. Kim is a neurotic, stay-at-home mother, and although her husband, Greg, is a success in his career, his more difficult job is keeping his wife calm as they raise their two young children. While Kim is determined to be the perfect mother and perfect wife and to raise the perfect children, her sister, Christine Hughes, a very down-to-earth mother of two, continually reminds her that life will never be perfect. Christine's husband, Jimmy, often feels compelled to share with his brother-in-law his philosophy about being a husband and a parent while still remaining a man.

Yes, Dear

Kim drives Greg up the wall when she worries that Sam isn't walking yet. Jimmy advises Greg that he should let Kim have the day off if he wants her to lighten up. So Greg arranges for Kim and Christine to go a day spa, giving him and Jimmy a day alone with the kids at the park. Jimmy gets hot at the park, and talks Greg into taking the kids someplace else that's cool -- a casino. Greg catches Sam on tape taking his first steps in the casino lobby, but then realizes that he can't show the video to Kim because of where it was taken. While waiting for their massages, Christine manages to talk Kim into relaxing more when she returns home. Jimmy pays a friend to digitally alter the background in the tape to a park, so Greg can show it to Kim. Kim is thrilled to watch it, until she -- and everyone else -- views Sam walking right over a pond! Greg has no choice but to come clean with Kim about what happened, causing her to unravel all over again.

Pilot

Greg, Kim, Jimmy and Christine are horrified to see a mother nursing her walking, talking toddler at the park. Greg wonders what's the proper cutoff age for breast-feeding. Kim says about a year, and she couldn't wait to stop nursing after that. But that night, she screams at Greg to get out of the baby's room when he catches her off guard still nursing Sam. Greg thinks she hasn't stopped breast-feeding because she can't sever ties to her son, but Kim confesses she does it so she can have big, milk-filled boobs. Greg convinces her to start weaning Sam now before she's got a walking, talking toddler asking her to breast-feed him at the park, but no matter what he tries, Sam won't take to bottles. When Greg's just about ready to give up, Jimmy tells him how he got Dominic and Logan to wean; he'd dress up like Christine with a bottle shoved under her clothes and pretend to be Mommy. It works like a charm, after which Greg finds out that Jimmy made the whole story up. The next night, Kim c

Weaning Isn't Everything

Jimmy sees Sam playing with an elderly couple's kid at the park, and warns Greg that parents don't pick their own friends, their kids pick them. Following Jimmy's advice, Greg spots a young, attractive couple with a kid of their own, and gets Sam to play with theirs instead. Jimmy's worst nightmare comes true when he sees Christine let Logan play with the old couple's child anyway. Greg and Kim get to go out with the young, attractive couple, John and Rebecca. Greg naturally thinks he got the better deal -- until he and Kim learn the hard way that their couple are violent lunatics prone to road rage. Jimmy is in for a surprise of his own when the old couple, David and Judy, are actually fun to be around. Kim returns to the park and befriends David and Judy in an attempt to steal them away from the Hughes. Christine is angry when she finds out that David and Judy invited all four of them over for dinner, as she doesn't want to share the good couple. At David's and Judy's house, Kim and

The Good Couple

Kim confides to Christine that she and Greg haven't been having as much sex as they were before they had Sam. Greg gets two tickets to a Lakers game and invites Jimmy. When they get stuck in a bad traffic jam on the way back from the game, Jimmy coaxes Greg into stopping by a strip club to kill some time. Worked up from the club, Greg surprises Kim with a night full of passionate sex. Kim is ecstatic at first, but then flips her lid after Christine fills her in that the reason Greg was so passionate was because he and Jimmy went to a strip club. Jimmy advises Greg that he should pull a repeat performance of the night before with Kim, so she'll know it's her that's putting him in the mood and not a bunch of naked girls. After Kim has a chance to cool down, she and Greg discuss what they should do in the future to turn each other on.

You Wanna?

Kim's and Christine's father, Don Ludke, comes for a surprise visit. Greg feels left out as Don has never liked him -- and still doesn't. When Greg's attempts to win him over fail, Christine tells him the real reason her father doesn't like him is because he doesn't respect people who can't do things around the house. Greg changes his plans to buy a jungle gym for the kids after Don says that only an idiot would buy a pre-built jungle gym when he can build his own and save money. In an effort to impress him, Greg tries to build his own jungle gym, but it falls on top of him while he's working on it. After Greg says to Kim that he doesn't want Don in his house again, Jimmy tells him that the way to get on Don's good side is to make him feel smart without intimidating him, like he's wont to do. Following that advice, Greg extends the olive branch to Don, and asks for his help with the gym. Afterwards, he starts to have a heart-to-heart talk with Don in regards to the way he's treated, on

Father-in-Law

Greg's big day is his birthday. Kim wants to take him and the kids to Disneyland, but Jimmy talks Greg into going out and partying like he did when he was single. Greg begins to wonder if he made the right decision after he goes cruising with Jimmy's aging frat boy friends, Chuck, Steve and Gino. While trying -- and failing -- to get into a cliquey club, Greg, Jimmy and company run into Bret Michaels from Poison. Jimmy introduces himself to Bret, and soon everybody is invited to a wild party Bret's having. Greg, out of his element, is surprised to learn that the real Bret Michaels lives the same kind of family life that Greg does, and is merely hosting the party for some of his friends who are in town. At Bret's urging, Greg returns home, realizing that the only place he should be spending his birthday is with his family.

Greg's Big Day

Kim invites Christine along to a ""Mommy and Me"" group. The activities are so tiring for Christine that she tells Kim she won't attend them again. Kim responds by suggesting Christine could be a good parent if she'd do more with her kids. Christine retaliates by calling Kim a control freak, and soon the two aren't speaking. Their childish fight has repercussions for Greg and Jimmy when their wives won't let them talk to each other either. Jimmy plots to smooth things over between the dueling sisters by calling up both of them and telling them the other was in a car accident. When Christine and Kim each find out that there was no accident, they put aside their differences... and stop speaking to their husbands.

Look Who's Not Talking

When Greg and Kim learn that Jimmy and Christine aren't throwing a birthday party for Dominic, they plan one themselves. Jimmy intends to start looking for a job to pay Greg back. Greg tries to dissuade Jimmy, who intends to start looking for a job at the studio where Greg works. Greg unwillingly brings Jimmy to the studio for an interview -- where he tries to make Jimmy look unhirable -- but, to Greg's horror, Jimmy lands a position as their security guard anyway. Greg is further horrified to hear that Jimmy spent his first 9-to-5 schmoozing with the head honcho, Gary, whom Greg is afraid to talk to. Greg fears Jimmy will get both of them fired, especially after Jimmy takes it upon himself to invite Gary to Dominic's party. After Greg sees for himself that Gary actually likes Jimmy, Jimmy presses Greg into talking to Gary. But Greg's nervousness makes Gary think he's a deranged stalker. Worse, he gives Gary's allergic kid a peanut cookie that lands him in the emergency room. In the en

Jimmy Gets a Job

Christine and Don convince Kim to sell her sleeve guards, which she's dubbed ""arm-prins,"" at a craft fair, while Jimmy convinces Christine to bring the kids to watch him play in a security guards' softball game. Greg is upset that he'll have to take care of Sam himself while Kim is setting up her new business, so he voices his displeasure and hurts her feelings by calling her arm-prins stupid. Jimmy feels castrated when his boss, Lloyd, benches him, and lures Christine into the game for need of a female player. Greg is forced to watch a Blue's Clues video with Sam over and over again, as it's the only thing that will keep him quiet. Soon, Greg has sat through the show so many times, he begins dreaming he's starring in it. Kim becomes dejected when the arm-prins bomb, just like Greg said they would. Greg makes it up to her by saying she's a much better housekeeper and parent than he'll ever be, and the most important job she can ever have is at home.

Arm-prins

After Greg and Kim drive a set of friends away with their dull parenting stories, Kim fears they've become a boring couple. To try to make things interesting again, she sets aside ""talk time"" for her and Greg to discuss current events and anything not related to Sam. Talk time bores Greg, though. Kim reevaluates the situation, and figures the reason they don't have anything to talk about is because they don't do anything together anymore. So she guilts Greg into taking a class with her at the community college: ""Exploring Wine."" Jimmy and Christine take the class, too... to get some wine out of it. With their first exam coming up, Kim wants Greg to start studying, as she feels that the better the two of them do on it, the more they'll have to talk about. After Greg discovers how much he'll have to read for the test, Jimmy convinces him to blow off studying. Greg fears Kim will be mad at him when he fails the class, but she one-ups his slacking off when she's caught cheating by their pr

Talk Time

Jimmy finds out that his mean Uncle Elton died and left him $5000. Jimmy takes half of it and tells Greg and Kim he'll be paying them back the money he owed them to get set up in L.A. Afterwards, Jimmy and Christine go Christmas shopping with the other half. Despite Christine's protests, Jimmy sees two expensive Lionel train sets and wants to spoil Dominic for Christmas, but can't decide which one to get. So he gets both. But when he visits with his uncle's lawyer to claim his inheritance, Jimmy learns the bad news -- he doesn't get $5000, he gets $5000 less taxes. And he's now overdrawn before he's even paid Greg back. With no other choice but to get a second job to cover his debt, Jimmy lands work at the toy shop where he bought the trains. And where he now has to answer to the smug manager he was rude to previously. If that's not embarrassing enough, Greg bumps into Jimmy while he's on the job in a silly reindeer costume. Jimmy comes clean, and Greg demands that he just take the mon

All I Want for Christmas Is My Dead Uncle's Cash (a.k.a. Silent Night, Holy Crap)

The Warners' ongoing feud with a crazy neighbor, Walt, escalates after Walt demands Greg cut down a supposedly unsafe tree on his property. Greg solves the problem by calling a town inspector, but it indirectly results in a bigger problem when Jimmy lets the inspector know that he and Christine are living permanently in the Warners' guest house -- which is against the town's zoning regulation. The inspector tells Greg about a waiver that would allow Jimmy and Christine to continue living there, but everyone on the block would have to sign it... including Walt. As he wants Jimmy and Christine to move out, Greg doesn't even bother to tell them or Kim about it until after he experiences a guilt trip over the possibility of the Hughes living miles away in poverty. Jimmy drags a reluctant Greg into his scheme to get Walt to sign the waiver by befriending him, which is no mean feat due to Walt's eccentricity. But Walt isn't the owner of his house, and has to answer to a higher power who does

Where There's a Will, There's a Waiver

Jimmy's best friend, Billy, comes to Los Angeles in hopes of becoming a star. But since Jimmy doesn't have a place of his own for Billy, he instead asks Greg to let his friend pitch a tent in the backyard. Greg, annoyed at having houseguests who have houseguests, makes no secret of the fact that he thinks Billy's dream of acting is a waste of time. Greg later gets jealous after finding out that Jimmy is taking Billy to a hockey game when he had previously offered that extra ticket to Greg. Trying to make up with Greg, Jimmy manages to get a third ticket so the three of them can go, but Greg continues to feel left out when Jimmy and Billy have seats next to each other, and he has to sit alone. Greg feels better after hearing from Jimmy that he's tired of Billy after spending so much time with him. Then both of them are stunned when Billy blows them off after his very first audition lands him a starring role on CBS' The District.

Jimmy's Jimmy

While sharing stories about the first time they met, Christine learns that Kim kissed Jimmy while he and Christine were going out. As a result, Christine refuses to sleep with him that night. Greg, meanwhile, doesn't care what Kim did with Jimmy, as he claims to have kissed more than his share of girls at the time. Kim presses him into revealing what number ""more than his share"" is, and then laughs when he says it's fifty. Determined to make Kim believe him, Greg sets about making a list of the names of all fifty girls. Greg's completed list -- of merely forty-nine girls -- turns Kim around so she's no longer amused at Greg. Instead, she's disgusted with him. Jimmy is able to calm Kim down by telling her that fifty isn't a high number at all, when most guys his and Greg's age kissed five hundred girls. Greg would feel inadequate at Jimmy's machismo if he weren't already feeling inadequate over having not even made it to fifty. To spite Jimmy and even the score, Christine kisses Greg, t

Kiss and Yell

Relieved to find out she isn't pregnant again as she had feared, Christine tries to tighten down on birth control by asking Jimmy to get a vasectomy. Jimmy initially refuses, until he has to cope with the alternative: no sex. As neither can live with that option, Jimmy caves in and agrees to have the procedure. But he quickly develops pre-op jitters, and ends up telling Greg that he isn't as fearless as he's led Christine to believe. Greg takes him to the doctor to have the operation explained to him so he'll see that there's nothing to fear, but by the time the doctor's done explaining, not only is Jimmy terrified of vasectomies, but Greg too. Jimmy finally admits his fear to Christine, and she tells him she'll help him through it. After he's been prepped and ready to go through with the big snip, Jimmy sees her playing with a little girl in the hospital waiting room, and again refuses to go through with the vasectomy -- this time because it would mean they'd never be able to have a d

The Big Snip

Dominic's kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Joseph, calls in Jimmy and Christine for a parent/teacher conference because he's been acting up in school. When they get there, they find out Dominic mooned the class. Recalling how her parents used to act when they were called in, Christine sticks up for Dominic by refusing to agree to the school's policy of making repeat offenders see a counselor. After Mrs. Joseph alerts her to the fact that Dominic may be expelled if they don't let him meet with the counselor, Christine yanks Dominic out herself and decides to home-school him instead -- a move everyone else thinks was hasty and foolish. Desperate to prove them wrong, Christine initially tries -- and fails -- to teach Dominic by way of a book, until Greg reminds her that Kim's the by-the-book parent. Christine's second plan, teaching by way of baking, is a success, leaving the others sorry they doubted her. But Christine has to put her pride aside when Dominic tells her that he misses his friend

Moon over Kindergarten

Greg and Kim aren't happy to hear that Sam's pediatrician has retired early and sold his practice -- and his patients -- to a physician they've never met. Trying to give the new guy, Dr. Trabert, a chance, they freak out upon discovering that he's practically a kid himself, has his wife working as his receptionist, and has left his sick kid at home to go to work. Greg and Kim instead make an appointment to meet with Dr. Bernstein, the most famous pediatrician in L.A., and lie their way into his exclusive clientele. No sooner than they get on Bernstein's 'A' list than Sam shoves a piece of pasta up his nose and Greg has to rush him to the doctor to have it taken out. But Greg is forced to wait an unreasonable amount of time while a disinterested Bernstein tends to his numerous other patients. Greg chews the doctor out when he continues to make Sam wait, Jimmy gets the piece of pasta out himself, and Bernstein rudely tells Greg to take his business elsewhere. But Kim makes Greg go back a

Doctor, Doctor

Christine and Kim plan a trip to their parents' house. Jimmy agrees to go to please his wife, but Greg doesn't care to go that far to please Kim, and weasels his way out of it. Greg does go to the airport to help carry Kim's stuff, but when the flight attendant lets him onto the plane, it departs before he can get off -- and gives him the worst free ride of his life. Just as Don loves Jimmy and hates Greg, Christine's and Kim's mother, Jenny, loves Greg and hates Jimmy. Unfortunately, Jenny's slobbering over Greg makes him wish she'd hate him too. A pumped-up thermostat, Jenny's collection of ceramic crap, and her bickering with Don get on Greg's last nerve -- but when he misses a special moment with Sam on the Ludke's relative's farm, he decides doing things to please Kim can't be all bad.

Greg: Don't Leave Home Without Him

Kim drags Greg along to church against his will. The church's minister, Reverend Green, introduces Greg to Bill, who runs a daddies group where all the church daddies get together and learn how to be better husbands and fathers. Because Kim wants him to, Greg reluctantly joins it and then tricks Jimmy into going with him. When they get to Bill's house, Greg and Jimmy discover the entire daddies group thing is a front -- the guys just sit around, drink beer, watch sports and enjoy some peace away from their wives. That's how they learn to be better husbands and fathers. But guilt eventually overcomes Greg when he is forced to lie to Kim to keep the group's secret safe.

The Daddies Group

Christine plans to get out of jury duty by using her kids as an excuse, until Kim's speech about giving back to the country guilts her into going. Kim soon realizes what a mistake it was to offer to take care of Dominic and Logan after they tire her out. Christine finds out who got the better end of the bargain, as her trials on the jury are far more peaceful than her trials at home. Greg feels bad that Kim can't handle juggling all three children, so, after consulting with Jimmy, he flies out Jimmy's mother, Kitty, to help out. Kim feels twice as bad after learning that Kitty -- whom she hates -- is coming. Kitty's chain smoking and nonexistent parenting skills only end up tiring Kim out more, especially after she has to add Kitty's errands to her list of things to do. Greg finally confronts Kitty, and lets her know how Kim feels about her... which doesn't have the intended effect. Kim then learns it was Greg not Jimmy who invited Kitty in a botched effort to fix things. While deliber

Mr. Fix It

After getting a babysitter, Greg, Kim, Jimmy and Christine go out to a bar, The Frolic Room, for some free time. Greg tries to get Kim to go out with them again, but Kim thinks the place is too dumpy for her tastes and doesn't want to go back. Until she gets ticked off after Greg tells her she's not fun like Christine, that is. So Kim goes to Jimmy and asks him how to be fun. Jimmy takes her back to the bar and helps her loosen up around other people -- particularly Greg.

Kim Just Wants to Have Fun

While eating out, Jimmy and Greg run into Billy, who's been sacked from The District and dumped by his girlfriend, and now works at a restaurant as a birthday-wishing pirate. Until he gets sacked from that job too. When Kim receives an estimate on a bathroom remodel that looks high, Billy -- who used to do bathrooms -- confirms to her that it is high. Jimmy tries to talk Greg into letting Billy do the bathroom for them, but Greg doesn't need the pep talk after Billy says he'll do the job for half the price. Kim brings home a friend from pottery class, Rosanna, who takes an immediate liking to Billy. Billy and Rosanna go out on a date that makes him think they're on the fast track to a relationship -- until Rosanna tells him that she's decided to get back together with a former boyfriend. The news crushes Billy so much that he can't work and, hence, can't finish the bathroom. With the pipes turned off and no running water, Greg and Kim are forced to share Jimmy's and Christine's bathroo

No Room to Spare

Jimmy's mother moves out of her house and into an apartment, and calls to say she can no longer keep his childhood dog, Happy. Jimmy wants to take the dog, but can't because Greg's allergic. After Kim tries to convince Greg to take it in anyway, Greg tells the truth -- he's not allergic to dogs, he just doesn't like them. Kim ignores Greg's wishes, and lets Jimmy and Christine keep Happy there. To get even with her, Greg gets something Kim doesn't want around: a go-cart. Happy arrives, but is hardly the dog Jimmy remembers; he's more like Cujo. Kim admits to Greg that she made a mistake, but still doesn't want to tell Jimmy to get rid of it -- even though Christine agrees it needs to go. Happy gets loose and chases after Greg while riding his go-cart, causing him to have an accident. But it's not Greg who gets hurt. While at the vet's, Greg, Kim and Christine are finally able to convince Jimmy that Happy is too aggressive to keep. The vet tells Jimmy that Happy is a goner and should be

Worst in Show

Greg and Kim buy a new minivan, and plan to trade in their old car. Jimmy tells Greg trade-ins are a rip-off, and he could just as easily fix it up and sell it himself. Greg agrees to the proposal and lets him keep whatever extra money he makes on top of the trade-in price. So Jimmy fixes up the car, sells it himself, and keeps $3000. He then asks Greg what he should do with the cash since he's never had any before. Greg, stunned at Jimmy's newfound responsibility, suggests he invest it in the stock market and use the profits for his kids' education. Jimmy chooses not to follow that advice to a 'T', however, and instead plunks the money down on a used, dilapidated speedboat -- which doesn't even run. Greg throws a hissyfit over what he considers to be Jimmy's irresponsibility triumph, so much so that even Kim thinks he's being uptight. Jimmy ignores Greg, fixes up the boat and invites the adults out for its ""maiden"" voyage. At first, Greg refuses to have a good time, but when left alon

Jimmy and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Boat

Greg and Kim are hardly enamored with Jimmy's and Christine's method of potty training Logan -- stripping him naked and letting him run around in the Warners' backyard until he figures it out himself. But since Sam is the same age as Logan, Greg thinks it's time to start potty training Sam as well. Just, uh, not by using the Hughes method. Greg and Kim take Sam out to buy big kid's underwear and a bunch of potty training aids the parenting books recommend. Jimmy and Christine think all the aids -- among them, a doll called Potty Scotty that poops ping pong balls and a child's first potty training video -- are ridiculous, especially since they're not working. Kim then tries to use Greg's bodily functions as Sam's training video, without consulting Greg. After Logan trains himself before Sam does, Greg begins to wonder if they should try Jimmy's and Christine's way, but Kim thinks they should just give up and try again later when Sam's ready. Greg, however, decides to take potty matters

Who's on First

The Warners and the Hughes invite the neighbors, Rob and Wendy, and their kids over. Greg decides to join a gym after seeing Rob give rocket ship rides to Sam, because he's too exhausted to give them to Sam himself. But Greg has no idea what to do at the gym and contemplates hiring a personal trainer, which Jimmy thinks is a waste of money. So he volunteers to personally train Greg himself. Christine, meanwhile, thinks about taking Logan out of day care because she's bored. Kim instead convinces Christine to go down to a temp agency and get a part-time job that she's qualified for -- passing out teeny-weeny samples at the supermarket. Jimmy loves Christine's new job -- especially the free lunch part -- but Christine hates it so much she quits, and tries her luck again at the temp. This time she gets an even worse job, and quits it too. Jimmy overworks Greg so much that he's ready to quit working out himself, until Jimmy confesses that he's only been ""helping"" Greg to avoid taking care

Christine's Journey

Jimmy invites all his security guard friends, including Billy whom he helped get on the payroll, to a poker game in the guesthouse. He neglects to invite Greg, because Greg doesn't know any of his friends. Greg finds out and feels bad, so Christine makes Jimmy invite him. Greg returns the favor and invites the gang -- Jimmy, Billy, Jack, Roy and Oscar (who doesn't speak English) -- to stop by his executive's office sometime. But Greg regrets his offer when they take advantage of it, and begin using his office as their hangout. Greg is too afraid to tell them he really doesn't want them around, though, so he uses his friendly co-worker, Stuart, as a scapegoat. His plan backfires when the guards frame Stuart to get even. And they're still hanging out in Greg's office. To clear Stuart's name, Greg confesses that it's he who wants everybody out -- including Jimmy. Now it's Jimmy who feels bad, causing Greg to make amends by inviting Jimmy and Jimmy alone to have lunch in his office. Unfort

Guarding Greg

The Warners have a problem when Sam develops some aggressive behavior with other playground children. A humiliated Kim points the finger at Greg, but Greg laughs it off and thinks Kim should just let Sam grow out of it. Greg changes his tune after he has to suffer the humiliation when Sam chokes another toddler at the park. So it's off to the library to do some research on how to cure the problem. Jimmy intervenes with his usual against-the-book advice by telling Greg what he did when Dominic became violent -- he found a bigger bully kid to knock some sense into him. Only after Greg pictures Older Sam going crazy and attacking a classmate does he put the books down and agree to do it Jimmy's way. With Kim and Christine off to a baby shower, Jimmy finds a guy with a troublemaking two-year-old who's bigger than Sam, and the fight is on. Marvin, the guy, arrives with his hefty son, Todd, just as Billy and Steve drop by Greg's backyard to see the ""match"" in person. They're not the only one

Baby Fight Club

Greg's stunned when he gets a ticket for running a red light courtesy one of those auto-machines that takes your picture -- until he sees that it took Jimmy's picture while driving his car. Even though Jimmy promises to pay the ticket, Greg is still mad at him for borrowing his car without asking. Christine agrees and everyone arranges a deal to respect each other's property in the future. But Greg is angry when Kim breaks the arrangement by borrowing the Hughes' camera. To make it up to them, Kim decides to get their film developed herself. At the courthouse, Jimmy learns while waiting on line that he can't go to traffic school again because he's already been there once within the last 18 months. Greg, on the other hand, hasn't been... Christine has a cow, but eventually gives in to Jimmy's demands to make him a fake ID with Greg's name on it, or else Jimmy will lose his license for having too many points. Meanwhile, Greg and Kim go to get the film developed, and find out the hard way

The Ticket

On Halloween night, Greg is forced to wear a silly hot dog outfit trick or treating because that's what Sam (the kitty) pointed at when Kim (the genie) took him shopping for costumes. After Jimmy tells him to leave some candy out for the kids, Greg worries his house will get trashed while they're gone. Sam gets tricked when a seemingly sweet old lady says she'll go get him some candy -- which is the cue for her son to jump out of the bushes in a wolfman costume and scare the kids. Sam starts crying and has to be rushed home, and a furious Greg plots revenge. Christine and Jimmy think they should trash the guy's house, but Kim insists on fixing his wagon by writing a stern letter. Greg likes the trashing idea better, but gives in to Kim's wishes. So they both go to the house, drop off the letter, knock on the door, and hide so they can watch their reactions. After the old lady and the man read it and laugh hysterically, Greg and Kim return home, ready to do things the Hughes way. Greg a

Halloween

Greg is jealous when he meets Todd, whom he considers the perfect dad. All Greg had to compare himself to before was Jimmy, but now there's another dad who actually plays with his kids, instead of playing golf with his buddies. Worrying that he's as awful a parent as his own father, Greg has another daydream that Older Sam dedicates a toast to the man who made him who he is today -- Todd. Since Older Sam can't remember Greg's name and even daydream Todd pointed out that he's bad, Greg decides to be a good dad too by going out with Kim and Sam and Todd and his family, rather than with Jimmy. But Todd is so active that it only takes two days of non-stop activities for Greg to want out. Since Greg needs Jimmy to make himself look good, Jimmy invites the ultimate white trash family, headed by redneck patriarch Earl, to Greg's barbecue, so he can have someone who makes him look good. Greg confronts Todd and asks him when he ever gets any alone time, but learns Todd considers alone time any

The Good Dad

Greg goes through an old jacket and finds a wedding invitation Kim asked him to give to her friend, Julie Grimes, years ago. Make that ex-friend, since Kim cut Julie off for not showing up at her wedding. Greg worries Kim will think he forgot to deliver it on purpose as he never liked Julie or found her funny, which Kim, Christine -- and Julie -- all did. Christine says he should just show Kim the invitation to clear Julie's name, but he throws it away. It's only after he learns that Julie moved to LA to become a comedienne and Kim sadly feels she has no friends anymore because of what Julie did that Greg decides to pay Miss Grimes a visit to clear her name to her instead. Julie, who was crushed that Kim never invited her, is relieved that she in fact did, and agrees to patch things up -- starting with an invitation to her own wedding that she wants Greg to deliver. But Julie is as unfunny as ever, spouting one catchphrase after another, that he throws her invitation away too. Meanwhil

Kentucky Top Hat

Since Greg and Kim plan to go away to see Greg's folks for Thanksgiving, Jimmy wants to invite his parents over to the Warner house. But Christine doesn't want his father there as all the man does is criticize his son. Jimmy feels he can impress his pop now because he's got a great job and family. Jimmy gets his wish; after the Warners leave, Big Jimmy and Kitty arrive. And they've brought company -- Aunt Betty, Grammy and cousin Neil the ex-con. But Big Jimmy is still not impressed and keeps criticizing Jimmy since Greg foots the bill for him and he bailed out of college. Meanwhile, a blizzard forces Greg and Kim to return home, and Greg prepares to go to bed, unaware Jimmy let Grammy sleep in his room. When he finds her there, he screams so loud that he kills her. Greg tells Kim, who dials 911, then wakes up Jimmy and Christine to break the bad news. They assume that Grammy passed away in her sleep -- which Greg plays along with. After the ambulance takes her away, Jimmy tells the ot

Guess Who's Not Coming to Dinner

Jimmy and Christine surprise Greg and Kim with a weekend trip to the Grand Canyon. Courtesy an RV. Christine makes them hand over their wallets so they won't try to pay for anything. The trip gets off to a bad start when the three see Jimmy rented a smelly, dirty, 1970's RV. When Christine asks where's the nice one they picked out, Jimmy says the rental place sprang extra fees and this was all they could afford. Forced by Kim to go, Greg gets a good night's rest expecting to see the Grand Canyon when he wakes up Saturday morning, but all he finds is Jimmy overslept. Jimmy speeds to make time, which makes Greg RVsick. At a rest stop, Greg has it out with Jimmy for giving him such a lousy vacation and driving so badly. Jimmy says he can drive then, and throws him the keys -- which fall right down a grate. Since Jimmy put the spare on the ring, they have to wait until Sunday morning for the RV place to FedEx a new set. Greg asks Christine to give him his wallet so they can go to a hotel,

Are We There Yet?

Greg's and Kim's parents all spend Christmas at the Warner house this year. Not all is merry when a discussion about how every child has their 'A' set of grandparents (the ones they love) and their 'B' set (the ones they like) makes Greg realize his parents, Tom and Natalie, aren't Sam's 'A' set. When Greg sees Sam having a great time with Don and Jenny, he snatches Sam away from them, then tries to make his parents play with him. But Tom and Natalie are so dull and awkward around kids that Greg talks to Kim about it. She tells him it's not Sam's fault that Tom and Natalie are meek. Greg turns it into a competition, insistent on making his folks the 'A' grandparents. No matter what he orders them to do to win Sam over, Don and Jenny are one step ahead of him. Greg's angry when Don decides for everyone that they'll be breaking tradition by opening their gifts on Christmas eve. And he's furious when Don and Jenny give their gifts to him, Kim, Jimmy and Christine -- they've bought the cem

A Complicated Plot (a.k.a. Complicated Plot)

At a school carnival, Kim persuades Greg to try to win a fish for Sam. Greg doesn't want a fish, so he tries to lose on purpose. But Jimmy comes along and wins it. Sam likes the fish so much that Kim gloats about how right she was. The next morning, though, the fish dies. Kim makes Greg have to explain to Sam what happened to it, so he butters him up with the promise of a new fish and some candy. Then Kim overrides Greg's explanation and tries to make Sam sad, which ticks off Greg. Since he believes she's making the situation worse and doesn't respect him, Greg starts argument #1 with Kim. Jimmy finds out about it and tells Greg that Christine is his puppet and he loses arguments with her on purpose just so they can get to the make-up sex faster. And since Greg never wins any arguments with Kim anyway, he should do the same. So Greg goes home and takes a dive, which Kim falls for. But Greg can't bear to play Jimmy's game for very long, and soon admits the truth. Which spurs argument #2

One Fish, Two Fish, Dead Fish, Blue Fish

The Warners get some extra help around the house from their neighbor, Bernice, who's a little too eager to carry Kim's groceries and play with Sam. A chance encounter with an annoying lady at the pediatrician makes Christine realize she should start pushing Jimmy to chase his dream the same way he pushed her to go back to college. Jimmy's dream was to be an umpire -- which he didn't chase because Christine shot it down way back when. Now he says she was right the first time. Greg becomes so attached to Bernice, who baked him a pie and gave him a sweater, that he starts acting like she's his wife. Jimmy confesses to Greg that he's using Christine's destroying his dream as a trump card to get things out of her. But Greg manages to convince Jimmy that his dream isn't stupid and he should go for it. Kim lets Greg see, to no avail, that she's jealous of his affection for Bernice. Jimmy's first ump job is a textbook lesson in Murphy's Law, leaving the entire field up in arms at his extreme i

You're Out... of Dreams

It's Sam's and Logan's first day of nursery school, and Kim decides to butter up their teacher with cookies. When Kim and Christine go after school to pick up the kids, Christine is upset when the teacher, Miss Brooke, fawns all over Sam, then ignores Logan. Christine tells Jimmy about it that night, but he thinks she's overreacting. After trading off with the women, Greg and Jimmy go to pick the kids up the next day. Jimmy sees that Christine wasn't overreacting when Miss Brooke doesn't even know which one is Logan. At home, Christine tells Jimmy that Miss Brooke is doing it because Kim is brown-nosing her with presents, and the two talk to Kim about it. But Kim refuses to stop sucking up, so Christine and Jimmy try to outdo her by sucking up with gifts of their own. It doesn't work, Kim realizes the error of her ways, and they all confront Miss Brooke about what she's doing. After Greg and Kim offend Jimmy and Christine by suggesting she's doing it because Sam is special and Logan is

Favorite Son

Greg is ashamed when Sam runs screaming to Jimmy for comfort during a thunderstorm. Jimmy thinks the reason Sam didn't run to Greg is because he doesn't act like a man, and suggests he let Sam watch him do manly things to change the tot's mind. Like playing touch football with Jimmy, Billy, Oscar, and Oscar's secret crush, Dot. Greg scores a touchdown during the game, but Sam misses it. What Sam doesn't miss is Greg getting knocked to the ground. Greg sees a chance to redeem himself when Billy kicks the football into a tree, it gets stuck, and nobody wants to get it. Greg decides to impress Sam as the only one brave enough to climb the tree and get it -- except right after he does, his fear of heights kicks in, and the fire department have to come help him down. Jimmy warns Greg to break the chain now, or else his wuss gene will be passed down. Greg has his chance to do so when everybody goes to the movies, and a guy won't stop talking during the film. So Greg stands up and blocks the

Walk Like a Man

Kim meets a new friend, Andrea, at Mommy and Me, and cavalierly decides that her husband, Alan, will be Greg's new friend. Greg is forced to go over to their place for dinner to meet Alan, but the guy is even more displeased with the situation and gives him the cold shoulder. After Greg complains to Kim that Alan brushed him off, she tells him he's getting a taste of his own medicine, since that's exactly what he used to do. Greg works himself into a panic about how Alan probably thinks he's friendless, especially after Kim says she invited Alan and Andrea over in reciprocation. Greg takes the opportunity to let Alan know he doesn't want to be his friend any more than Alan wants to be his. The two guys get to sharing complaints about how their wives always do this, and soon they are friends. But right after Alan and Andrea are out the door, Greg finds out Kim is sick of Andrea criticizing her and doesn't want to be friends with them anymore. After a final, fateful get-together where Ki

Greg's New Friend

When Dominic keeps his parents up because he wants to sleep in their bed rather than the one he now shares with Logan (who kicks him at night), Kim offers to convert their spare bedroom into Dominic's new room. Though he doesn't use it, Greg still wants the room and unsuccessfully attempts to convince Dominic not to take it. The first night after Dominic moves in, Greg catches him walking out of the kitchen, then finds his wallet on the kitchen floor with all the money gone. Christine talks to Dominic about it, and when he says he didn't steal the money, nobody believes Greg. The next night, Greg finds Dominic returned his money. Greg tries to thank him, only to realize the kid is sleepwalking when Dominic kicks him and pokes him in the eye. Christine worries he may be suffering from stress caused by living in a new room. The third night Dominic sleepwalks, Kim is present when he smacks Greg and threatens to throw him out if he doesn't pay his rent. Kim thinks Greg's jokes about the Hu

Room for Improvement

Greg's old high-school girlfriend, Stacey, is in town. Greg invites her and her husband, Bobby, over to visit so he can see her again. Looking at pictures of Sam, Dominic and Logan gets Stacey and Bobby to admit that they've been trying to have children of their own -- which hasn't been going all that well since Bobby has ""slow swimmers."" Stacey says they came to LA because it has the best fertility experts. When Greg tells her he's there for them if they need anything, she takes his offer a little too literally, and asks for his sperm. Kim is enraged when Greg says he'll think about it, and actually meant it. After Jimmy gloats how Christine would let him do it, Kim talks with her, and learns that she was lying so as not to start a fight. She also believes Greg wouldn't do it in a million years. So Kim pulls the same act with him, and is relieved that he isn't doing it. Greg lets Stacey and Bobby down easy, but both he and Jimmy are stunned when they turn right around and ask Jimmy fo

Johnny Ampleseed

Jimmy and Dominic join the West Los Angeles Tribe of Indian Scouts, and meet their tribemates: Chief Carl Blumkin and his son, Kevin; Great Star and his son, Bright Star; and Talking Rock and his son, Running Rabbit. Even with his own cute Indian nickname -- Red Fox -- Jimmy's sense of humor doesn't fly with the others. Since he dreads scouting and Greg, a decorated child scout, loves it, Jimmy agrees to let him be surrogate father to Dominic for the next meeting. That way, he can have his own meeting... on the couch with a Cleveland Indians game. The others are impressed by the many feathers Greg earned when he was a scout. And since he happens to have more of them than Carl, he's made new chief. Jimmy's relief turns to jealousy when he finds out Greg drove Dominic to school. He tells Greg he'll take Dominic to school and to the meetings from now on -- which is fine with Greg, but not with Dominic. Dominic is ashamed when, on their first wilderness adventure, Jimmy kills a bunny with

Dances with Couch

Greg announces that he may soon become Executive Director of Business Affairs, instead of what he is now... Executive Manager of Business Affairs. Since the new position is between him and his co-worker, Stuart, Jimmy recommends he suck up to his boss to ensure he gets it. Though initially skeptical, Greg has a chance to follow that advice when he goes to see Jimmy play at the studio's softball game, and bumps into his boss, Mr. Savitsky. Jimmy hits a home run and wins the game for his team. Then Greg gets the promotion. Greg is annoyed when Jimmy brags that his home run clinched it for him. Fearing Jimmy might be right, Greg asks Savitsky point blank if he got promoted over Stuart because he works harder. Savitsky tells him he did, but when Greg brings up Jimmy's home run afterwards, Savitsky remembers that it was because of the home run after all. Humiliated, Greg lies to Jimmy that Savitsky told him it wasn't. Jimmy pretends to be soundly defeated before revealing that Savitsky alre

Greg's Promotion

While going over their homeowners' insurance, Greg lets Kim fetch the appraisal on her engagement ring, figuring she'll be thoroughly impressed with him when she finds out once and for all where he got it and what he paid for it. She is. And then she's thoroughly disgusted with him when she finds out when he got it -- two years before he met her. Greg admits that he bought the ring for another woman, but never proposed to her because he caught her getting it on with his roommate. His explanation falls on deaf ears, and Kim gives the ring, which she now considers tainted, back to him. To make amends, Greg surprises Kim with a brand-new replacement engagement ring. Or rather, a brand-new carbon copy of her original engagement ring -- which an insulted Kim also gives back, because it reminds her just as much of the other woman as the first one did. After a third failed attempt to pass the same ring off to her, Greg goes and gets her a different ring he personally designed himself. But her

The Ring

While drawing up their will, Greg and Kim have a difference of opinion on who should get custody of Sam in the event of their deaths. Kim wants Jimmy and Christine to have him. Though Greg thinks Jimmy is too irresponsible, he ends up deferring to Kim's wishes. When they tell Jimmy and Christine about it, Jimmy wonders how they expect a mooch to raise three kids. He learns that Greg's life insurance policy will handle that. But since Greg only agreed to trust him with his son and not his money, the funds were entrusted to Greg's sister instead. Jimmy is insulted that Greg feels he's too incompetent to manage his finances. Against Greg's wishes, Kim decides to give Jimmy $1500 of their tax refund to invest to prove his mettle. After a failed attempt at playing the stock market, Jimmy takes the entire $1500, plunks it down on a wet suit and scuba diving lessons, and starts up a golf ball retrieval service, fetching balls that golfers hit into the lake then selling them for profit. Greg b

Jimmy's Got Balls

Kim isn't happy to hear that Greg's mother will be staying with them for four days, as all Natalie does is make boring small talk with her. Natalie shows up with Tom -- who wasn't supposed to be coming -- because she was worried he'd forget to take his blood pressure medication if she left him home alone. While Kim has to contend with listening to Greg's mother's chit chat, Greg has to contend with seeing his mother boss his father around like a child. Greg tells Jimmy about it, worried how Tom no longer fights back. Jimmy recommends Greg spring him for a day, so Greg invites both men to a Vegas vacation this weekend. He tries to ask his mother for permission first, but when she says Tom can't go, Greg goes behind her back and takes him anyway -- which angers both wives when they find out their husbands left without telling them. Greg and Jimmy take Tom to an amazon jungle exhibit, where Greg soon realizes that his mother has spoiled his father so much that he doesn't know how to do an

Vegas Vacation

Kim catches Greg off guard when she tells him she wants to have another baby. To try to talk her out of it, he uses the excuse that they're going to paint the house, and pregnant women shouldn't be around the fumes. Christine then catches Jimmy off guard when she offers their painting services. On the first day of the job, Christine and Jimmy receive a housecall from two missionaries, David and Ricky, who are going door-to-door to promote family values and do charity work... like painting houses for complete strangers. Too lazy to do it themselves, Christine and Jimmy gladly take them up on that. Jimmy's bad drinking and gambling influence rubs off on the innocent missionaries, so it's up to Jimmy and his knowledge of all things 700 Club to get them back into the faith and out of the house. Kim talks Greg into going for round 2, but just as they're about to begin, she confesses she wants another girl. And if they keep getting more boys, then they'll keep trying until they get a girl. E

Making Baby

When Christine catches Dominic in his fifth lie in one week, she goes to Jimmy, who decides that he has to put his foot down with the kid -- despite the fact that he's been the softie parent all along. But when Jimmy's tough talk doesn't stop Dominic from lying, he plans to give Dominic his first spanking, against Kim's advice. Christine sides with Kim at first, but then she remembers how spanking worked on her, and agrees to let Jimmy go ahead with it. Since it hurt Jimmy more than it did Dominic, Jimmy makes it up to him by offering to take him to the go-cart track. But right before their trip, Jimmy finds out from Christine that Dominic lied yet again. Although neither Jimmy nor Christine can muster up the strength to administer more corporal punishment on Dominic, they inadvertently stumble onto the answer: Jimmy tells him he's not taking him to the go-carts... thus showing him how it feels when you lie to someone.

Spanks, but no Spanks

After Dominic comes back from a sleepover party with head lice, Jimmy and Christine are so fearful of what Greg and Kim might think of them that they don't say anything. Jimmy and Christine quarantine Dominic while they treat it, but Jimmy inadvertently gives it to Sam by rubbing the kid's head after rubbing Dominic's. When Sam starts scratching, a guilt-ridden Christine confesses to Greg and Kim. The lice starts spreading like wildflower when Greg and Kim both catch it next, and Greg unknowingly gives it to Mr. Savitsky, who made him try on hats. But when Greg tries to tell Savitsky, he mistakenly thinks he was the one who gave it to Greg -- until Jimmy intervenes, that is.

Nitpicking

Jimmy and Christine scoff at how overprotective Greg and Kim have been with Sam, going so far as to hold the tot's hand when using the playground at the park. Kim disagrees with them, but when Greg starts to visualize Older Sam as a guy who can't do anything for himself without mommy and daddy, he puts his foot down and blasts Kim. When she's resistant to change, Greg goes behind her back, takes Sam to the park with Jimmy, and lets the kid play by himself -- which results in Sam getting hurt. Although Kim is furious with Greg initially, she soon sees Logan doing all the things for himself that she insists on doing for Sam, and comes to terms with how smothering she's been.

Sammy's Independence Day

Big Jimmy and Kitty pay another visit to LA. Greg and Kim learn that Grammy's house was located smack in the middle of two restaurants, because, despite all the offers, she refused to sell it in the face of development. Now that Grammy is gone, Big Jimmy refuses to sell it as well, even though Kitty wants to move into a retirement home. Big Jimmy has a one-on-one with his son to see if he and his family would like to move out of the guest house and into Grammy's house with him and Kitty. Jimmy feels bad that he has to decline the offer, as his father hardly ever reaches out to him. Jimmy soon finds out, though, that the only reason the offer was made is because Grammy left the house to him and not her own son, and Big Jimmy, who's been living in it for free, was worried Jimmy would sell it out from under him. Jimmy is so infuriated that his dad lied to him that he threatens to do just that -- a threat which doesn't last long when Big Jimmy admits he's destitute. Meanwhile, Greg goes sh

House of the Rising Son

When Kim arranges a playdate with one of Sam's classmates, she's in for a big surprise when the girl's mother, Jessica, drops off her child - she drops off her sweet, elderly nanny, Sylvia, too. Angry about her uninvited guest, Kim ignores Sylvia at first, but when she changes her mind and gives her the time of day, Sylvia lets her know that Jessica yells at her all the time. She's just afraid to speak out against Jessica for fear of getting fired. After Jessica returns to pick up her kid and Kim witnesses her yelling at Sylvia, she tells Jessica off and asks Sylvia to come to work for her instead. But no sooner than the new nanny starts work than Kim figures out why Sylvia got yelled at -- she's incompetent. Yet Kim feels so bad for Sylvia that she can't bring herself to fire her. At least not until she discovers how many other mothers have had her and how they all managed to get rid of her. Meanwhile, when Jimmy buys a robotic dog for Dominic and then accidentally ruins it when he le

Kim's New Nanny

When Greg and Kim plan a family trip to Lake Tahoe with the Hughes, Greg remembers a classy restaurant in the area called The Pinnacle Room that his well-to-do uncle always used to tell him about. As he considers eating there a status symbol, it's a big disappointment when Kim tells him they can't book two rooms in the restaurant's lodge, as it's out of Jimmy's and Christine's price range. On the trip, Jimmy is equally irritated when he realizes Greg took a bigger room for himself. After Jimmy puts him on the spot, Greg admits that he took it on purpose because he's always felt held back on account of Jimmy's lack of money. But after a disastrous meal with Kim at the stuffy, snooty Pinnacle Room where everything that can go wrong does go wrong, Greg sees firsthand that the humble life Jimmy lives ain't so bad.

Mr. Big Shot

Since her doctor put her on bedrest for the week, Kim is in a bind when her babysitter calls and cancels. So Christine offers up Jimmy's babysitting services. Greg and Christine both have to go to the store to pick up stuff for Kim and Jimmy, respectively, so Jimmy recommends they both go together, even though they don't want to. Greg and Christine end up having a surprisingly good time out at the supermarket -- where Greg gets to buy the bread Kim won't let him buy -- that they cap it off with a trip to a coffee shop where Jimmy refuses to go. Kim and Jimmy, who had a bad time together, become jealous when they find out how much fun their spouses had -- and that they're planning to go out again. Greg and Christine are equally jealous when they come back from their second night out to find Jimmy giving Kim a neck rub in her bed. Jimmy and Kim decide to get even with them by pretending they're pals too. But the pair can't keep the facade up after a game of Scrabble gone awry, and blast

Wife Swapping

Greg and Kim worry that they're not making her second pregnancy special after accidentally using the baby's sonogram as scrap paper. To avoid being the kind of parents who ignore their second child, they decide to get the new baby all new stuff, instead of just Sam's hand-me-downs. Jimmy and Christine both think they're overreacting, until Christine realizes they are the kind of parents who ignore their second child; they have tons of videos and photos of Dominic and almost none of Logan. Since Christine has no childhood memories from before she was 4, she assumes Logan won't either, and decides to start faking his childhood photos and videos, using Logan for the walking, talking years, and Sam and hired children for the baby years. After trying unsuccessfully to sell off Sam's nursery set, Kim changes her mind and makes Greg put it in storage just in case Sam might want to pass it on to his children. After Greg gets attacked by a raccoon at the storage locker, he sees how crazy obsess

Make Every Second Count (a.k.a. Sloppy Seconds)

Jimmy saves the day when he spies a strange man breaking into Heidi Klum's trailer, catches him trying on (and eating) her underwear, and holds him down until the police arrive. When the story makes the local news, Jimmy's seen as a hero to everyone except Christine, who's furious that he went beyond the call of duty and risked his life in the process. She demands he quit his security job, which she now considers dangerous, and get the studio to give him a different one. Though he doesn't want to, Jimmy asks Mr. Savitsky to reassign him, and ends up the new landscaping supervisor. He grows to dig landscaping, which gives him a golf caddy and wins him the envy of former security guardmates Billy and Roy, but when he overhears a burglary in process, he tries to be a hero there too by jumping the armed assailant... who, unfortunately for Jimmy, happens to be an actor shooting a film. Meanwhile, Greg develops an addiction to nasal spray and starts having junkie-like cravings -- and later p

Jimmy Saves the Day

When Kim and Greg decide to go on TLC's A Baby Story, they run into major problems with their parents. For example, when Kim and Greg announce that they want to name the baby Charlie if it's a boy and Lucy if it's a girl, everyone calls out with their own picks for a girl. Kim's dad wants the baby to be named Rachel, and Greg's mom wants the baby to be named Margaret if it's a girl. The baby indeed turns out to be a girl, and as Kim and Greg are about to pick the baby up from the nursery, they hear Greg's dad stating that he wished that his own daughter were named Emily after his aunt who practically raised him. After overhearing this, Kim and Greg decide to name the baby Emily.

We're Having a Baby

When Jimmy lets Kim know that the studio has a two-week paternity leave policy -- that Greg's kept a secret -- she guilts Greg into taking them up on the offer. Though Mr. Savitsky thinks paternity leave is a joke and the policy was only put in the studio handbook under advisement from legal, Greg gets his two weeks off. On his first day at home, Greg finds out that Kim doesn't really have much of anything for him to do. While he begins missing work, Jimmy discovers that he'll lose his sick days if he doesn't use them by the end of the year, so he fakes illness and stays home with Greg and the women. Greg's worries that he's playing hooky aren't helped when Kim drags him to the movies, and he runs into Savitsky -- which makes him fear that the studio's headed for a financial trainwreck because he stayed home. Greg is even more worried when he pays a surprise visit to a company meeting during his leave, and finds a replacement in his chair and things going fine without him. After he com

Home Is Where the Heart Isn't

Dominic's school holds their annual Olympics, making Greg a very happy man since the Hughes will be out of the house for two consecutive weekends. But after Dominic bombs at every single event the first weekend -- and wins a bunch of consolation prize trophies just for participating -- Jimmy is far from happy that the school rewards losers, giving Dominic no motivation to get better. Dominic is crushed after he overhears his father badmouthing him to the other adults for winning a bunch of ""garbage trophies"" Jimmy feels he didn't deserve. Realizing he acted exactly like his father would, Jimmy decides to make it up to Dominic by giving him extra encouragement the next weekend. Although Dominic doesn't win, he comes in third place in one event, then tells Jimmy that he spent the week practicing in hopes of improving, because the trophies he won were garbage. Meanwhile, after Greg brings it to Kim's attention that she's overbearing with him when it comes to home decorating, she lets him

Trophy Husband

When the Warners run out of storage room in the garage, Kim makes Greg donate a box of his old belongings to charity. But after the apathetic collection guy calls his stuff crap and tries to throw it out, Greg takes everything back. Meanwhile, when the Hughes run out of room in the guesthouse, and Christine makes Jimmy donate his old belongings to charity, Greg offers to drive him to the pickup center. Greg then surprises Jimmy by showing him what he did with the stuff -- he rented a storage locker, and set up his own private utopia with everything Kim demanded he get rid of. Jimmy piles his old junk in there, and goes along with Greg's plans to keep the place a secret from the women. Together, they offer to do all the wives' errands for them as an excuse to get away and spend some guy time in the locker. Greg and Jimmy meet their storage neighbors -- a record collector and a Star Wars fanatic -- who are in the same bind as they are with their other halves. Greg's volunteering to run a

Space Jam

Tom and Natalie call Greg to say they're coming for a visit, because Natalie won Tom a walk-on role on JAG in a charity auction. Greg wants his parents to stay in the guest house, so he nudges Kim to ask Jimmy and Christine to sleep on the living room couch and send Logan to Dominic's room. Kim, who doesn't want the critical Natalie around, is relieved when Jimmy tells her that she'll likely be spending the whole day on the set, since JAG does day-long shoots. Kim's elation is crushed when Natalie says that she isn't going with Tom, she's staying home. Tom anxiously awaits his film debut as a jury member, as it's the first time he's ever acted in front of something besides his mirror. One of the other extras fills him in on how he and all the other ""background actors"" (as they prefer to be called) have perfected personalized moves to help them get discovered. Greg, Natalie, Jimmy and Christine see for themselves just what moves Tom invents when Greg brings home a tape of the dailies. W

Let's Get Jaggy with It

Christine tells Jimmy not to buy a Valentine's Day gift for her this year, as she's come to the realization that the holiday is just a cheap ploy to get poor schmucks to spend their hard-earned money. Jimmy's glad that they're not exchanging gifts -- until Christine surprises him with a card the day before. Since he assumed a card was a gift, he stalls and gets her to agree to hang onto it until tomorrow, so they can swap on Valentine's Day. He then drags Greg out to the mall to buy one, but it's so last-minute that all the good cards are gone. Desperate, he enlists Greg's aid in tearing down the shop's huge display model, racking up $384 in ceiling damages in the process, and anticipates winning Christine's heart with his life-size card. But the only thing he wins is her wrath after she opens it and sees nothing more than ""Love, Jimmy,"" as opposed to the long, thoughtful message she wrote in her own. Jimmy sulks while going through her old cards to him, until Greg points out to him th

House of Cards

Jimmy seeks to put a stop to Big Jimmy's lies that he coached Johnny Bench and other baseball legends in the minor leagues, because Dominic believes him the same way he did when he was a child. Remembering how upset he was when he learned the truth at 13, Jimmy confronts his father, calling him on his lies. Even though there's no record of Big Jimmy having coached anywhere -- and there never was a uniform stored in the Hughes' attic like he said there was -- Big Jimmy insists he's telling the truth. Jimmy takes Greg and Dominic to a baseball card convention, where Greg calls his mother to blast her for throwing out his now-valuable collection and Jimmy tries to undo all the coaching tips Big Jimmy gave Dominic. Greg bumps into Johnny Bench, and learns straight from the source that Big Jimmy coached him in Buffalo, after all. Jimmy has to eat crow when Greg introduces him to Johnny, who in turn introduces them both to Ernie Banks and Frank Robinson, both of whom Big Jimmy coached, too.

Hustlin' Hughes

When nobody believes Greg that his hot, new female co-worker has been flirting with him, he sets up a hidden cam to catch her in the act. Meanwhile, Billy dreams of being a masseur, but has trouble convincing his co-workers to let him practice on them.

Flirtin' with Disaster

Kim throws a surprise party at Savitsky's beach house for Greg's birthday, but Greg can't have a good time, fearful that the weekend won't go well.

Savitsky's Beach House

Kim and Christine plan a celebration for their grandmother's 80th birthday, and most of the Ludke family will be in attendance. Greg might be getting a VIP ticket to the NCAA Final Four in New Orleans as a gift from the studio. But the date conflicts with Grandma Nan's birthday, so Kim whines and stomps her feet in hopes that he'll give it away. He gets two tickets, and gives one to Jimmy; that way, he won't be the only one avoiding the party. When Christine hears this, she handles things just like Kim. Both men stand up to their wives, and tell them they're going no matter what, but Kim lays on a guilt trip so thick that Greg eventually throws up his hands, and gives his extra ticket to Jimmy. Jenny arrives with Grandma Nan and Kim's and Christine's aunt, Millie. Greg is irked when he discovers that their uncles were a no-show, and are at home watching the Final Four on TV. Jimmy gives Billy Greg's ticket, and they both meet sportscaster Jim Nantz, who'll be covering the games, and wh

March Madness

Kim and Greg are horrified to find peanuts in the backyard, since Sam is allergic to them. Wondering who was careless enough to bring them into their yard, they soon find the culprit -- a squirrel. Greg sets up a metal trap to catch the little bugger, so that Sam will be able to go outside again. The squirrel takes the bait, but Greg is too afraid to touch it to get rid of it, so Jimmy -- who's just as scared -- has to do the honors. While en route to dispose of it, it gets out of the bag Jimmy put it in, crawls on Jimmy's leg, and ends up out of the car and back in the yard when he and Greg run for cover. Since Kim knows it won't fall for the trap twice, she hints that Greg should kill it. Greg doesn't want to, until Sam asks if he can go outside to play. While he ponders how to off the thing, Jimmy suggests borrowing a pellet gun from Billy. Kim and Christine head off to the beach, Billy pops by dressed like Elmer Fudd, and the three guys get set for some good old-fashioned squirrel

Good Squirrel Hunting

Jimmy feels dumb when he's unable to help Dominic with his science project, and decides to go back in school to be smarter... elementary school. Meanwhile, Greg buys a sit-down lawn mower at a yard sale, and takes it upon himself to start mowing his neighbors' lawns.

Jimmy's Dumb

Christine's desire to fit in better at school leads her to join a sorority, which in turns leads Jimmy to beg her to come home so he doesn't have to take care of the kids.

After seeing Christine rack her brains trying to study for a test and hearing Greg and Kim talk about the study groups they had, Jimmy tells his wife that she should join a study group. Christine doesn't want to join anything where she'll feel like a square peg, but Jimmy is persuasive enough that she gives her younger classmates' group a shot. She gets cold feet when Jimmy drives her there, and she sees the group is in a sorority house. But, because of Jimmy, she marches right into Phi Sigma Gamma and introduces herself to the sisters, who are in the middle of pledging some new blood. The girls hit it off, and after studying economics, the chapter president, Katie, and her right-hand sister, Maryanne, ask Christine to join the sorority. Since Christine already bore witness to what the pledges have to do (like be hum

Sorority Girl

Mr. Savitsky invites Greg to join him and his new Playmate wife, Lisa, at a charity dinner for the homeless, because he got stuck buying a table and has six seats to fill. Greg makes Kim go -- not because he wants to help the homeless, but because he wants to impress the boss and further his career by having Kim schmooze Lisa. Desperate to help him fill the other four, Greg reluctantly agrees to let Jimmy, Christine, Billy and Billy's price-memorizing supermarket clerk date, Debbie, tag along. When Greg sees Kim not doing what he asked, he orders her to go talk to Lisa, but the woman is such a foul-mouthed, lush-faced, sex-obsessed bimbo that Kim ends the conversation in disgust. After a very smashed Christine steps in and hits it off with Lisa, Greg changes tactics and decides they'll both go to Savitsky's tennis club -- via a trip that Savitsky put up for auction at the dinner -- so the four of them can spend the whole day together and Kim can win Lisa over without it looking despera

Savitsky's Tennis Club

When Greg tells Jimmy he never does anything for him, Jimmy shares with him a story back in ye olden days -- the 1980s -- when Jimmy, Billy and their friend, Brian, were just a trio of pizza delivery boys with bad hair, and Christine was a lowly waitress at Howard Johnson's. Jimmy flips his lid when Christine lets him know that Kim is coming by with her new boyfriend, as this is going to crush Brian, whom Kim used to be dating before college -- especially since Greg, said new boyfriend, will be staying on Jimmy's couch and mooching off him. When Jimmy meets Greg for the first time, he wonders what on earth Kim sees in him. Tough guy Brian comes over uninvited, and begs Kim to take him back. After she asks him to leave, he plans to beat Greg up, but Jimmy gets him to hold off on his plan of action by saying he'll get rid of the new boyfriend in his own way. So Jimmy takes Greg to a diner, where he learns that Kim is his first, and tries unsuccessfully to scare him off by lying to him ab

When Jimmy Met Greggy

Greg plays tough uncle when Jimmy and Christine aren't as strict with Dominic and Logan as he would like.

Natural Born Delinquents

Greg and Natalie are humiliated to hear that hooked on comics worked for Tom -- and that he wants to go to Comicon as his hero, Superman.

Hooked on Comics

Jimmy has designs on scriptwriting, and begs Greg to ask Savitsky to listen to his movie pitch.

Spare Parts

Greg competes with Jimmy to see who can score more interested women via speed dating.

Speed Dating

When Jimmy gets accepted as a contestant on Big Brother, the thought of him and Christine having enough money to get their own place makes Greg takes drastic measures to see to it that Jimmy wins.

Big Brother-in-Law

Jimmy's unorthodox punishment for Dominic, who was bullying a nerd at school, backfires on the elder Hughes.

Dominic's Buddy

Greg plans to one-up Jimmy in the fun dad department by taking the kids to Legoland.

Legoland

Greg is less than thrilled with Kim's latest thoughtful birthday gift to him. Meanwhile, Jimmy plans to go to extremes to get even with an old flame who dumped him.

The Day of the Dolphin

Chuck Norris is shooting a movie at the studio (where he plays a security guard), but looks are deceiving for Jimmy, who idolizes the guy.

Jimmy and Chuck

Jimmy injuring his back making out with Christine throws a wrench into Don's plans to take him on a father-son ice-fishing tournament.

A Bunch of Ice Holes

Greg makes an unhappy Kim be Mr. Savitsky's ""escort"" to an art gallery, but then becomes unhappy himself when Kim gains her own personal reasons for continuing the charade. Meanwhile, when Logan learns that all of his clothes once belonged to Dominic, he decides to protest hand-me-downs -- by taking them off, and going around town in his tighty whities.

Pimpin' Ain't Easy

When the upstairs toilet overflows and soaks the living room ceiling, Greg plays detective, hoping to uncover the mystery of who broke his radio and flushed a piece of it down the crapper.

Who Done It?

Kim, Jimmy and Christine all take it upon themselves to help Greg find a friend when he needs someone to go to a jazz festival with him.

Greg Needs a Friend

Jimmy is upset when Greg, Kim and Christine all tell him that they don't think Big Jimmy is responsible enough to watch the kids.

Big Jimmy Babysits

Jimmy sees a chance to get even with his tough female supervisor when he learns Christine is a menace in the boxing ring.

Mama Said Knock You Out

Greg wants to bail on a marriage encounter group Kim dragged him to, and a phone call regarding a dying aunt could be his ticket out.

Dead Aunt, Dead Aunt...

Mr. Savitsky assigns Greg to look after a convicted criminal as part of a work release program he unknowingly agreed to.

Greg and Jimmy's Criminals

Greg's open invitation to his parents and Kim to attend an L.A. Lakers game in the owner's suite doesn't pan out the way he wanted.

The Owner's Suite

When Greg disobeys Mr. Savitsky's orders to go see the premiere of Kevin Smith's new film, Jimmy takes his and Kim's studio badges, and he and Christine go in their place -- which has repercussions for Greg when Jimmy, who doesn't know what Kevin looks like, tells the director to his face that his movie is terrible.

The Premiere

When Greg refuses to lend a helping hand in redecorating, Kim hires an interior decorator to design a fireplace for their living room, desperate to prove to Greg that she doesn't need his help.

Kim and Gordon

After a near-death experience, Jimmy finds a list he made of everything he ever wanted to do in life but didn't -- and plans to do everything on it while he still can.

A List Before Dying

When Kim invites hers and Christine's mutual friends (a marriage counselor and his wife) over for a dinner party, and tries to get rid of Christine, Christine schemes to trash the event -- and forces Jimmy to join her.

Yes, Dear

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