Name: The Two Ronnies
Genre: Comedy
Rating: 6.1
Cast: Ronnie Corbett, Ronnie Barker, Tina Charles, Barbara Dickson, Arthur Negus

Ronnie Corbett

Ronnie Barker

Tina Charles

Barbara Dickson

Arthur Negus

Soraya Esfandiary-Bakhtiari

Lulu

Cilla Black

Kiki Dee

Randy Crawford

The Two Ronnies is a British sketch show which aired on BBC1 from 1971 to 1987. It featured the double act of Ronnie Barker and Ronnie Corbett, the "Two Ronnies" of the title.

The Two Ronnies

BBC ONE Trailer for the Two Ronnies Night (1999)

The Two Ronnies   The Confusing Library

The main sketches are the news report put together in a hurry, unable to control himself at a party, a doctor with a cure for saying things twice, Hampton Wick episode 1, sending flowers through Interpol, Paris, getting a hearing aid. Big Jim Jehosophat and Fat-Belly Jones draw the show to a conclusion with their blue-grass performance. The musical guests are Tina Charles and New World, and Alfredo does a vaudeville act.

Episode 1

The main sketches are Ronnie B meets the bald Mr Goldy, the Hampton Wick episode is Street of Shame, we hear about a lorry driver, Tarzan visits Ronnie C., and W.S. Gilbert and Arthur Sullivan are 'In Concert'. The musical guests are New World and Tina Charles, and Jo, Jac & Joni perform a vaudeville routine.

Episode 2

The main sketches are what can happen when you say "Hello", a beaten weatherman, the Hampton Wick episode is 'The Bare Facts', Ronnie C. relates a story about a train journey, Mr Partridge has swallowed Radio 4, Moira McKellar and Kenneth Anderson take you a roaming in the gloaming. The musical guests are New World and Tina Charles. Georges Schlick presents a ventriloquist act.

Episode 3

The main sketches are about a fancy dress party, a cooking lesson from Lionel Smart, a stolen hoop in a pub car park, the Hampton Wick episode is 'Up At The Front', and a wedding service with some hiccups, coughs and sneezes. The musical guests are New World and Tina Charles, and Joe Andy performs a variety act.

Episode 4

The main sketches are about going to the toilet without using euphemisms, a piano-playing cat, the Hampton Wick episode is 'A Model of Virture', a very forgetful doctor, and the musical is about spoonerisms. The musical guests are New World and Tina Charles, and Chaz Chase performs a comedy routine.

Episode 5

The main sketches are about the latest fashion, an appeal for the clumsy people, the Hampton Wick episode is 'The Chambers of Horror', we hear about Ronnie C's early career, the musical is the 'Elizabeth R-Ha'. The musical guests are New World and Tina Charles, and Wasta performs a comedy routine.

Episode 6

The main sketches are about Hendon, an interesting father-of-the-bride speech, the Hampton Wick episode is 'Queen-of the Silver Screen', we find out value of prayer, approaching a job interview, the musical is the 'The Short and Fat Minstrel Show'. The musical guests are New World and Tina Charles.

Episode 7

The main sketches are feeling feint at the doctors, a talk about statistics, the Hampton Wick episode is 'A Voice from Heaven', about Ronnie's holiday in Spain, a baptism that went wrong, the music is by Big Jim Jehosophat and Fat-Belly Jones. The musical guests are Tina Charles and New World.

Episode 8

Ronnie Barker and Ronnie Corbett star in a special Christmas programme of sketches, jokes and songs with special guest Cilla Black featuring The Young Generation, Lulu, Mike Yarwood, Adrienne Posta, The Liver Birds, The Goodies and Dad's Army.

Christmas Night with the Stars: Special Short

There's a mishap at a wedding ceremony and Ronnie Corbett weaves a story about a neighbour. Spoof gumshoe serial Done to Death kicks off with Piggy Malone and Charlie Farley investigating a wealthy woman's murder. Georgie Fame, Alan Price and Elaine Delmar provide the music.

Sketches include a man taking his driving test and a parody of traditional Welsh tunes. Ronnie Corbett makes an astonishing claim in his monologue. Georgie Fame, Alan Price and Friday Brown provide the music.

The duo put a comedic spin on Bizet's Carmen and two party guests try to ignore idle gossip. Meanwhile, in Done to Death, there's another dead body to confuse Piggy and Charlie. Chelsea Brown joins musical regulars Georgie Fame and Alan Price.

Two men change into some unexpected items of clothing once the working day is over. Plus the two Ronnies poke fun at Russian folk songs. Thelma Houston joins Georgie Fame and Alan Price in the musical line-up.

Old friends reminisce at a school reunion, a newsreader has to fill time when there are no stories to report - and the duo decide Strauss waltzes are ripe for a little parody. Georgie Fame, Alan Price and Lynsey De Paul provide the songs.

A man's attempt to buy a pet is harder than it should be. In the musical finale some historical figures, including Queen Victoria and John Brown, burst into song.

Big Jim Jehosophat and Fat-Belly Jones return to sing in the musical finale. In the penultimate episode of Done to Death, Blanche becomes the prime suspect in the murder case. Samantha Jones joins Georgie Fame and Alan Price in the musical line-up.

Sketches include Post-hypnotic Suggestion and Vicar Heckler. In the last instalment of Done to Death, Piggy and Charlie lay a trap for the killer. The musical finale sees the duo pay tribute to ballroom dancing. Georgie Fame, Alan Price and Salena Jones provide the music.

to be deleted

Sketches include about shouting in a library, going for a driving test, we find out how to care for the sick, Ronnie tells us how things are going on the home front, and we see the main production, which is called Colditz. The performances in this episode are by Pan's People, who perform a dance routine, and the singer Dana.

Sketches are a visit to the doctor where you get more than you expect, we see a magic ring, there is a routine set in a pub, we find out hot to get married, two old men from the services reminisce, Ronnie gives us some parish news, and the main production this week is Star Trek. The performances in this episode are by Pan's People, who perform a dance routine, and the group Design.

Sketches include a visit to the tourist office of a country behind the iron curtain, there is an explanation about symbols used on television, there is a visit to the Limerick Clinic for a bad back, there is performance by a guitar duo, we hear that Ronnie's wife has won two competitions, and the main production this week is The Regiment, which is set in Rawlpore, India. The performances in this episode are by Pan's People, who perform a dance routine to "Yesterday", and the singer Elaine Delmar.

Sketches include a visit to the psychiatrist, we have Consumer's Corner with Boffo products, there is a home visit by the police, there are the tryouts to be a news reader, Ronnie tells us about last night's producer's party, and the main production this week is The Onedin Line. The performances in this episode are by Pan's People, who perform a dance routine to "Johnny B Goode", and the group Blue Mink.

Sketches include a visit to a pub where jealousy is a problem, we learn how to build a garden shed, there's an attempt at a protection racket that doesn't quite go as planned, the au pair returns, there is a problem in business, Ronnie tells us about a date, a man tries to get through customs, and the main production this week is Jason King. The performances in this episode are by Pan's People, who perform a dance routine, and the The New Seekers sing "We've Got to Do it Now".

Sketches include a rather interesting job interview, a visit to the cinema, a psychological experiment, we see an episode of Owen M.D., we learn a bit about mind reading, Ronnie tells us a bit more about his life and we hear some songs from Big Jim Jehosophat and Fat-Belly Jones. The performance in this episode is by magician Finn Jon.

Sketches include a party with a practical joke, there is message from the government about the water shortage, a sketch about trying to explain something, there is a problem at the pub, we see Screen Evergreen No. 38 "During the Ball", Ronnie tells us how the audience viewing figures are compiled and, finally, there is an episode of "Upstairs Downstairs". The performances in this episode are a dance by Pan's People and a medley by Tony Orlando & Dawn.

Sketches include a rather unusual Galloshnian restaurant, a presenter who has to commentate on various television events from the studio, one day in a spy agency with a new recruit, Ronnie tells us about his nautical experience, and finally we are entertained by "The Short & Fat Minstrel Show". The performances in this episode are a dance routine by Pan's People and a song by Clodagh Rodgers.

Dinner at the house of Messr.s Barker and Corbett, but, oh no! someone's stolen the Christmas Turkey! It'll take a brilliant mind and loyal companions to aid the capture of this thief. Too bad all they've got is Piggy Malone. Featuring several News items of interest, some wonderfully choreographed dancing, and a brilliant compilation of the new works by a duo called Sullivan and Gilbert performed by our oh so generous hosts.

The Two Ronnies' Old-Fashioned Christmas Mystery

Sketches include The Watchmaker, Spokesman from the Ministry of Information, the first instalment of Death Can Be Fatal and a musical version of Coronation Street. Music by Swingle 11.

Sketches include The Driving Test, Swedish Made Simple, and the second instalment of Death Can Be Fatal. The musical is the Imperial Ballet School.

Sketches include Rhyming Detectives, The Cinema and part three of Death Can Be Fatal. The musical finale is a revue performed by some policemen.

Sketches include Spoonerisms and part four of Death Can Be Fatal. Michel Legrand performs "Theme from Summer of '42". In the musical finale the Ronnies sing songs from "Oh What A Lovely War" as John Mills and Mrs. Mills.

Sketches include Stars at Night, Party Without Guests and another installment of Death Can Be Fatal. Michel Legrand plays one of his compositions and the Ronnies perform with the Aldershot Brass Ensemble.

Sketches include The Minister of Inflation and the sixth part of Death Can Be Fatal. The inexperienced actors of The Meadowfield Players put on Weekend in Mayfair.

Sketches include The Newsreader, The Similar Party Guests and part seven of Death Can Be Fatal. Michel Legrand plays one of his songs and The Plumstead Ladies gossip in song.

Sketches include The Rook Restaurant, Jolly Rhyming Birthday Cards, Scottish Tourism and the final part of Death Can Be Fatal. The musical number is Jehosophat and Jones, and Friends.

Sketches include The Cockney Rhyming Slang Sermon, The New Butler and Dr Death. There's the first part of The Phantom Raspberry Blower of Old London Town (written by Spike Milligan) and a Native Indian musical number.

The second part of 'The Phantom Raspberry Blower of Old London Town', a Getaway Programme about Slough, This Week's Bad Cause and songs by Barbara Dickson, Nana Moussaka and Charles Azenough.

This episode includes the classic 'Four Candles' sketch, the introduction of Queen Victoria and the Prince of Wales in 'The Phantom Raspberry Blower of Old London Town' and a musical number featuring two char ladies.

Sketches include 'An Appeal For Women' and 'All In A Day's Berk'. Barbara Dickson sings another Beatles classic and the Ronnies join some Morris Dancers.

Sketches include 'The Drinks Order' and 'June 9th 2001 News'. In the serial Scotland Yard tries to catch the Phantom Raspberry Blower with some fake Queen Victorias. Music comes from Barbara Dickson and Jehosophat & Jones.

Sketches include 'The Ministry of Sex Equality' and 'Cricket Commentators at a Restaurant'.

Sketches include 'The Royal Society For The Prevention of Mispronunciation' and 'Stage Directions'.

In 'The Day After Tomorrow's World' Ronnie Barker presents the kitchen of the future. Plus the Arbroath Pipe Band and the final instalment of 'The Phantom Raspberry Blower of Old London Town'(by Spike Milligan and a gentleman).

Sketches include 'The Optician' and 'The Pub'. There's the first instalment of a new Piggy Malone and Charlie Farley serial, 'Stop, You're Killing Me', and music from The Nolan Sisters and Pete Cutters & the Boggers.

In Stop! You're Killing Me, Piggy and Charlie arrive at Drake's Bottom, the village where all the dead yokels come from. Welsh miners perform in the musical finale.

Sketches include a customer asking a salesman for some strange ice cream flavours. Ball and Socket spoof Hinge and Bracket in the musical finale.

A man comes to regret visiting his colleague's home, and a gangster tries to net a ransom payout. In the musical number, an amateur dramatics company perform a 1920s musical comedy.

In Stop! You're Killing Me, Piggy and Charlie plan to investigate the lord of the manor, but first they must do a spot of ghosthunting. The Two Ronnies perform with steel band The New Sensations in the musical finale.

Two rhymesters meet at a party. In detective spoof Stop! You're Killing Me, Piggy and Charlie don disguises to get close to the manor house to speak to the lord of the manor.

Two schoolfriends are reunited at an exclusive club for adventurers. In the penultimate instalment of Stop! You're Killing Me, Piggy and Charlie uncover strange goings-on at the local church.

Sketches include an appeal on behalf of the indecisive. In the final part of Stop! You're Killing Me, Piggy and Charlie have almost cracked the case of the yokel murders and the gold smuggling operation, but first they must flee danger in a thrilling bicycle chase.

More comedy, sketch and song with masters of mirth, Ronnies Corbett and Barker.

no such episode

Episode 9

A man gets more than he bargained for when he goes in search of McCleary's Gold, and a shopkeeper boasts that his store stocks every kind of bean imaginable. Manhattan Transfer provide the music.

More comedy, sketch and song with masters of mirth, Ronnies Corbett and Barker. Special guests are Manhattan Transfer who sing Snooty Little Cutie.

Ronnie Corbett and Ronnie Barker star in more comedy sketches and songs, including more from Sid and Lil, and George and Edie.

More droll news items and comedy sketches, including a spoof dog food commercial. Manhattan Transfer bring the music.

Sketches, songs and monologues with Ronnie Corbett and Ronnie Barker. The duo dress up again for musical finale Down Mexico Way.

Ronnie Corbett and Ronnie Barker star in sketches, songs and monologues. Manhattan Transfer provide the music, while the Kamikaze Theatre Company perform in a different sort of musical finale.

A spokesman argues for independence for Ruislip, and a notorious film comes in for some mockery in Last Mango in Paris.

Light entertainment comedy show. Ronnie Barker and Ronnie Corbett present sketches and spoofs while Manhattan Transfer bring the music.

Sketches include an episode of Mastermind where the contestant answers the question before last, there is a public service message by the local policeman, we get a simple explanation of why we're living longer, there is the first part of "The Worm that Turned", we get a simple explanation how doctor shopping can help, finishing other people's sentences in the local, Ronnie decides to change his approach and tells us a new joke, and the musical finale is Broadway Malady. The musical guest is Elkie Brooks.

Sketches include waiting for an audition for a musical, there is a spokesman on saving energy, what happens when your ears are improved, ordering tea at the roadside vendor, there is part two of "The Worm that Turned", a confusing conversation in the pub, what happens when you copy somebody else, Ronnie starts his story with a red nose, and the musical finale is down at the hunt.

Sketches include visiting the Arnold Murray School of Dancing, we hear from a spokesman from the Ministry of Poetry, how men can describe a bra's size, there is the next episode of "The Worm that Turned", what happens when you put a swear box in the local, manners at the bank, Ronnie tells us how the BBC DG is unhappy with the quality of his jokes, a house visit by the doctor, the final musical comes from the sultan's harem. The musical guest is Elkie Brooks.

Sketches include greeting card rhymes gone wrong, there is a spokesman from the Royal Society for Mispronunciation, there is the next part of "The Worm that Turned", be careful what you wish for, we visit the participants at The Inventors' Convention, Ronnie bought this week's joke at a jumble sale, and in the musical finale we don the lederhosen and head to Bavaria for the Oktoberfest. The musical guest is Barbara Dickson.

Sketches include a shopping list with bad hand-writing at the local shop, an announcement from the Minnistry of Intelligense, the disadvantage of having one eye, there is the fifth part of "The Worm that Turned", some pub philosophy now that Britain is in the European Community, Ronnie reads his personal file that the BBC has on him, and the musical finale is by the Rochdale Ringers. The musical guest is Elkie Brooks.

Sketches include a robbery where nothing works, there is a talk about money and what to do if you can't get enough of it, grounds for divorce, there is the next part of "The Worm that Turned", being honest at a party, Ronnie tells us things are tense on the home front, and the musical finale is by the Beefeaters at the Tower of London. The musical guest is Barbara Dickson.

Sketches include the sweet shop where nothing is too much trouble, commentating whilst waiting for an orchestral performance in the Princess Charlotte Hall in Eckham, if you're dizzy in the morning, there is the penultimate part of "The Worm that Turned", a party where an Englishman learns something about the Scottish clans, Ronnie starts with a message for the dogs watching and finishes with a golf story, and the musical finale has a Star Wars theme. The musical guest is Elkie Brooks.

Sketches include doing crossword puzzles on a train journey, making yourself understood on the telephone, getting a wisdom tooth out, the unfaithful wife, there is the final part of "The Worm that Turned", how real is real-life drama on TV, Ronnie explains how he could have gone into the movies despite his small stature, a man applies for the job as a station announcer, and in the musical finale we head to Aristottles Circus. The musical guest is Barbara Dickson.

The Two Ronnies Christmas Special 1980

Sketches include a club where everybody is named after where they were conceived, where about the government white paper on equality, why snuff can be a problem, Piggy Malone and Charley Farley are on the case in the first episode of Band of Slaves, when two telephone conversations become crossed, a problem with body hair, Ronnie tells us about Dagenham, and in the musical finale we head to an Oxford University residential college. The musical guest is Kiki Dee.

Sketches include a party where two men have something in common but don't know what it is, there is a message from a spokesman for the Royal Society for Mispronunciation, Piggy Malone and Charley Farley are on the case called Band of Slaves, a couple of yokels are deep in conversation, Ronnie tells us about a supporter of the Fulham football club, and the musical finale is a country spectacular called Grand Ole Opry from Nashville with special guests Slim Pitman and Polly Parton. The musical guest is Randy Crawford.

Sketches include a party after a secret visit to Africa, a message by vet Algernon Dinge about the care and treatment of sick animals, the problem with hiking, Piggy Malone and Charley Farley continue on the case called Band of Slaves, there's some domestic trouble between Ethel and Arnold and their pets, Ronnie tells us about how to make an inspiration sermon, and the musical finale is about Teeny Todd. The musical guest is Marti Webb.

Sketches include a party with somebody who has very bad breath, some advice from a swami, job orientation for British Rail information, Piggy Malone and Charley Farley continue on the case called Band of Slaves, there's some yokels in the pub, Ronnie tells us about a golfer that he heard whilst at the dentist, and the musical finale is base on the cockney pearlies with special guests Chas & Dave. The musical guest is Sheena Easton.

Episode 4 : The Two Ronnies Christmas Special 1981

Sketches include a party where a man claims he can guess a person's name by what they look like, there is an appeal on behalf of the invisible, Piggy Malone and Charley Farley continue on the case called Band of Slaves, a very boring man at an accounting office, Ronnie tells us about a new world record, and the musical finale is set in Canada and is by the Royal Canadian Mountain Police. The musical guest is Madeline Bell.

Sketches include a bar where a man repeats what the barman and a woman says, we see the Open University's lecture on Intermediate Archaeology Unit Seven, Piggy Malone and Charley Farley continue on the case called Band of Slaves, the two village idiots have a wide-ranging discussion, Ronnie tells us what he does when he doesn't want to be recognised, and the musical finale is by The Hendon Symphony Orchestra performing Clapped Out Classics. The musical guest is Elkie Brooks.

Sketches include a friendly meeting to discuss the organisation of village fete, there is a spokesman from the post office, we learn how to get interest on our money, Piggy Malone and Charley Farley continue with the case called Band of Slaves, there's some deep conversation in the pub about medical matters, Ronnie tells us a night out he had at a musical premiere, and the musical finale is by two gardeners in their garden. The musical guest is Clodagh Rodgers.

Sketches include one day in the grocery store, a message by a spokesman from the Russian tourist bureau, train stations on a train trip, Piggy Malone and Charley Farley conclude the case called Band of Slaves, taking out an insurance policy to avoid becoming Jewish, Ronnie tells us about his daughters and then a joke that is potentially dangerous, the yokels aren't having a good time with the wife-swapping, and the musical finale is 'Crop of the Flops' hosted by The Two Jimmies with performances by Bad Habits, Chas & Dave, and Adam and the Nats.

Christmas entertainment from Ronnie Barker and Ronnie Corbett, with special guest David Essex.

The Two Ronnies Christmas Special 1982

Sketches include in the change rooms after a very one-sided game of squash, Godfrey and Humphrey share with us some advice from the club, Melvin Pegg introduces the book programme with a scene from Henry VI with additional television show placements, two street cleaners entertain us with a work song, one day in an outback Australian pub they record an advertisement for the Cootamundra Travel Agency, 'Boy George' performs, there is a song from a tropical paradise, Ronnie story is interrupted by some background noises and is dedicated to his agent, and we see David O. Renwick's film "Raiders of the Last Auk".

Sketches include a library where the books are sorted by some unusual methods, we see an episode of One Good Turn hosted by Norman Barrel with Al Vermont (The Chocolate Coloured Cough Drop), we go to a party were there is a psychic medium, we have a sing in the local pub, Godfrey and Humphrey discuss Humphrey's sister, two shipwrecked sailors are in a lifeboat, Ronnie has received a letter from an old classmate, and the final drama is Hercule Poirot in Murder is Served. The musical guest is Stephanie Lawrence.

Sketches include an investigation into Bespoke Taxidermist run by Patsy Peregrine Putiss, we have a jiu jitsu demonstration, there is songs by the driver and fireman of a Welsh steam train, we have an episode of One Good Turn hosted by Norman Barrel show presents Arthur Halliday (The Vagabond Lover), Godfrey and Humphrey discuss drinking, Ronnie joke is about two American tourists, and the final drama is magical story of 'The Adventures of Archie'.

Episode 3 : The Two Ronnies Christmas Special 1983

Sketches include a wedding ceremony where the vicar intervenes, there is some deep discussion down the local, there is a message by the Minister of Cuts representing N.I.C.K.E.R.S. 2U, Humphrey tells Godfrey about his trip to America, Chloe Loon and Danny Jonkworth perform their own version of Three Blind Mice, there's a party where two travel agents try to outdo each other, Ronnie tells us an unfunny joke about a clever pig, and we finish with the drama 'Mileaway', which is a 'hidden' medieval village in 20th century England. The musical guest is Elaine Paige.

Sketches include what happens in the kitchen of a restaurant, there is a message from a health freak to encourage people to exercise more, Godfrey and Humphrey make a bet, there's a party where they use aristocratic rhyming slang to keep their discussions private, Lightweight Louie Danvers sings a song, Godfrey and Humphrey discuss women, the yokels have a discussion in the pub, Ronnie wears a balaclava as he has a cold, and we finish with 'Campers', which is the story of three trekkers on a cycling and camping holiday. The musical guest is Stephanie Lawrence.

Sketches include a bank that has been taken over the an Arabian sheik, Godfrey and Humphrey discuss golf, a soap opera that is too close to reality, a burglar goes about his business in a doctor's office when he is interrupted, Godfrey and Humphrey discuss doctors, one day in a pet shop that has some unusual pets, Ronnie announces that this is the last time he will sit in the chair as he has been lured to Hollywood to film his life story, two unhappy clowns sing a song lamenting the demise of clowns, the finale is the 'The Bogle of Bog Fell', which is set in Cockahoopie Castle in Scotland. The musical guest is Barbara Dickson.

Sketches include upper-class communication problems, a Christmas Address from your Milkman, courtroom game show The Judge is Right, and a private has hearing difficulties in the trenches. Lightweight Louie Danvers sings a song about the girls he has known, there is a musical number from the Stereo Santas and the finale is The Ballad of Snivelling and Grudge. The musical guest is Elaine Paige.

The Two Ronnies Christmas Special 1984

no episode

Sketches include some homespun philosophy by two yokels, there is a musical sermon about sin, two tramps are deep in discussion, a doctor's surgery becomes automated, the only two man one-man band entertains us with a musical number, Ronnie tells us how he went about getting a pay rise, and the final drama is called 'Sunshine Boulevard'. The musical performer is Elaine Paige.

Sketches include a party where there is a communication problem, a government spokesman looks into the future, we enjoy a song from the racetrack, we head to a cold Russian peasant cabin, Ronnie tells us how is respected at the BBC before telling a Scottish joke, a couple of tramps share a story, and the final musical/drama is called 'Caribbean Nights', and stars Jim Lockstock and Johnny Barrel on board a cruise ship. The musical performer is Elaine Paige.

Sketches include what can happen when you live too close to a cricket ground, we visit a piano bar where there is a case of mistaken identity, we are informed with an information session by a weather forecaster, we are at a party where there is some discussion about ethnic origins and people's names, two tramps discuss telescopes, we hear some poetry in an episode of Trolleybus, Ronnie promises not to ramble during his joke and tells a joke about priest putting his trust in God, overcoming misunderstandings one day in a delicatessen, and we finish with 'Plop of the Flops' hosted by Dave Lav Trellis featuring Steamy Winder, Big Momma and Status Who. The musical performer is Elaine Paige.

Sketches include a visit to the pub where one drinker tries to finish the sentences of the other, we receive a message from Lucifer Hornsby who is the Grand High Wizard of the Emetic of the Golden Rivet Hendon Branch, two tramps discuss a relative, there is a problem in colonies in Africa that requires a quick exit, there is a performance by some dancing marionettes, two tramps discuss stinginess, Ronnie was elected captain of the BBC rugby team, is to get a new set and tells a joke about Yehudi Menuhin, the final drama is a thriller called 'I Married a Poltergeist'. The musical performer is Elaine Paige.

Sketches include a restaurant where the waiter wants the diners to hurry up so that he can go, we have a message from Dr. Paul Smith who is the president of the Royal Society for the Relief of Sufferers of Mispronunciation, two tramps discuss their lack of money, two former actors who are now cat burglars meet while working, two tramps discuss food, we go the Trocadero Bootle and listen to Cliff Clive and the Jivers, Ronnie tells us about his school days, we go the Alhambra in Southend and see one of Max Speed's last performances with The 'Nifty Nickers' Girls, the final drama is a spy thriller called 'Tinker Tailor Smiley Doyle'. The musical performer is Elaine Paige.

Sketches include a visit to the doctor by a short-sighted man with a tortoise, two tramps discuss their lives, a party with some party-goers wearing wigs and hair is big topic of conversation, we go to The Pink Rupee for a bit of rap, we see the documentary Little Big Shot set in America during prohibition and which is about the gangster Rockie Stallone, Ronnie tells his joke with a packing case on stage with him, there's hearing problems in the trenches in WWI, and the final musical is based on Alice in Wonderland. The musical performer is Phil Collins.

Episode 1: The Two Ronnies Christmas Special 1985

Sketches include a party where a man keeps hearing the names of people he knows in the conversation, two tramps discuss medicine, we go to a bar where a man and a robot go for a drink, we have a song by the ringmasters of the Barnum and Bailey circus, two yokels discuss some local and world events giving their unique views, we have a song by Lightweight Louie Danvers, Ronnie tells us a cricketing joke, and the final drama is about a very capable butler and is called 'The Admirable Brighton". The musical performer is Barbara Dickson.

Sketches include a yokel postman makes a delivery and has an interesting conversation, three tramps discuss crime, there is an edition of 'Speak Oz' where foreigners are taught the Australian Wagga Wagga double talk, a milkman makes a delivery to William Shakespeare and offers some advice, two allied naval officers are on the high seas and upset the Germans war effort, Ronnie dedicates his joke to the show's executive producer and is about two chaps who go to the movies, there's a singalong down the local, the final drama is a science fiction thriller called 'It Came from Outer Hendon'. The musical performer is Phil Collins.

Sketches include a dairy farmer goes for advice about his cows not using the flush toilets, there is a spokesman for people who say everything twice, there is a spokesman for people who say everything twice, two tramps discuss hair, we meet a very annoying man in a cinema, there is a song by two bikies, Ronnie is going to get a new chair and announces his autobiography, Claire Rayner answers your letters, the final mystery drama is called 'The Village of the Smiths'. The musical performer is Barbara Dickson.

Sketches include a party where the theme is the great comedians, there is a message from a spokesman from The Department of Stealth and Total Obscurity with special responsibility for limbs and organs, two tramps discuss family, we travel to the captain's cabin on the Bounty to see the start of the mutiny against Captain Bligh, there is a song by the police who have trouble keeping up with the rhyming slang, a doctor sees a patient who has a hatchet in his head, Ronnie's joke comes with a government health warning, the final drama is an episode of 'Hercule Poirot meets Miss Marple' called The Teddy Bear Who Knew Too Much. The musical performer is Phil Collins.

Sketches include a fancy dress office party, we have an episode of 'Indian Cookery' hosted by Ringo Chutney, two tramps discuss why they gave up employment, a coal man is protective of his daughter, we go to the Annual Crumpsall & District Chapter Hells Yokels Barndance, we go to a pub that only sells many different varieties water, Ronnie talks about his sex appeal and brings his fan mail, and the final drama is a Viking drama called 'The Secret of the Sorcerers Tomb' where we find out about the retirement of Mudguard the Mighty. The musical performer is Barbara Dickson.

The last ever Two Ronnies show. Christmas entertainment from Ronnie Barker and Ronnie Corbett. Sketches include: 'The Pub Chat', 'The Wedding Party', 'Christmas Day at the Klondyke Saloon', 'Lefty and Sixty', and 'Pinocchio II: Killer Doll'. Musical guest Elton John sings 'Candle in the Wind'.

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