Name: The Facts of Life
Genre: Drama, Comedy
Rating: 5.5
Cast: Cloris Leachman, Lisa Whelchel, Kim Fields, Mindy Cohn, Nancy McKeon

Cloris Leachman

Lisa Whelchel

Kim Fields

Mindy Cohn

Nancy McKeon

Mackenzie Astin

Sherrié Austin

Charlotte Rae

Pamela Adlon

George Clooney

Dick Clair

Norman Lear

Jenna McMahon

Mrs. Edna Garrett, housemother and dietitian at the Eastland School, teaches a group of girls in her charge how to solve those problems that every teenager has to face.

The Facts of Life

Majorie 

The series opens with the Drummonds (from Diff'rent Strokes) visiting Eastland to see Mrs. Garrett (their ex-housekeeper).  They arrive right in the middle of the Harvest Queen competition and Blair is sure she's going to win.  So when Cindy considers running, Blair makes some snide comments about Cindy's femininity.

Rough Housing

It's Parent's Night at Eastland and Blair's sophisticated mother arrives bringing with her, her flirtatious tendancies which prompt rumors when she becomes ""friendly"" with a married man.

Like Mother, Like Daughter

Mrs. Garrett is surprised by a visit from her ex-husband, Roger, who wants the two of them to remarry.  However, his gambling ways rub off on the girls who begin gambling on poker games and loosing what little money they have..

The Return of Mr. Garrett

Tootie accidentally comes across a paper which lists the I.Q. scores of each one of the girls.  Nancy received the highest score and Sue Ann scored the lowest, this puts extra pressure on each one of them just prior to midterm exams.

I.Q.

Tootie's father comes for a visit and doesn't like the activities that Tootie is being exposed to.  Believing that Mrs. Garrett is a bad influence, Mr. Ramsey decides to have Tootie transfer out of Eastland.

Overachieving

Blair is so caught up with her latest boyfriend that she forgets about an English assignment in which she has to write a poem.  So, at the last minute she plagiarizes a poem by Emily Dickinson and turns it in as her own.  Things get worse when she's the only one who gets an A and Mr. Bradley enters her poem in a contest.

Emily Dickinson

Blair and Sue Ann kid each other about their weight and Sue Ann takes Blair's comments a little too seriously.  However, when Blair sets Sue Ann up on a blind date which will involve going swimming, Sue Ann goes on a starvation diet leading to a collapse.  Meanwhile, Mrs. Garrett also jumps on the dieting wagon, trying to fit in a size 12 dress.

Dieting

Mrs. Garrett begins teaching a sex-education class at Eastland and her tactics are against the more prudish suggestions of Mr. Bradley.  Meanwhile, Blair takes the ideas from class and expirements with her latest boyfriend, Steve.

The Facts of Love

A flood hits Peekskill which prompts Blair and Tootie to race out to the stables to save some animals from being washed away.  However the damn breaks and Blair and Tootie become in danger of being washed away.

Flash Flood

Mr. Bradley gives the girls an assignment having to do with their family trees.  However, Natalie is reluctant to show hers in class do to the fact that the family that raised her is her adopted family.  This prompts Blair to help Natalie find the name of her real mother by using her mother's clout to cut through some red tape and sealed records.

Adoption

Mr. Bradley's need to have Eastland win prompts him to manipulate Sue Ann into competing in a running competition.  Sue Ann had previously ran but this year decided not to, however, Mr. Bradley uses Cindy's better racing times to goad Sue Ann into competing.

Running

Molly is down in the dumps due to her parents getting a divorce.  So she gets some help from the girls who plan to reunite her parents.  Things hit the fan, when her father arrives with a new girlfriend.

Molly's Holiday

Blair and Sue Ann befriend two new girls. All seems to go okay with them until they learn that their friends use drugs.

Dope

Streetsmart Bronx native, Jo Polniaczeck arrives at Eastland.

The New Girl (1)

Mrs. Garrett bails the girls out of jail and announces that they all have been expelled from Eastland.  However, they can stay if they move in with Mrs. Garrett and work in the cafeteria.  This prompts Jo's want to leave to become even stronger.

The New Girl (2)

Blair is sure that an old friend of hers', Harrison Andrews is going to invite her to a cotillion, however she is thrown for a loop when he invites Jo.

Double Standard

Tootie begins to think long and hard about her race and how she's being treated at Eastland, thanks to a new boy whom Tootie took an interest in.  Tootie soon begins to shun Natalie, Jo and Blair and even backs out of a dance contest because her dance partner is white.

Who Am I?

When Blair's cousin, Geri, arrives for a visit, Mrs. Garrett, based on Blair's behavior, thinks she's embarrassed of Geri since she has cerebral palsy.  However later Mrs. Garrett realizes she's really jealous of her since Geri is also a  successful comedienne.

Cousin Geri

It's Edna's birthday and the girls want to buy her a gift. Blair told them that she would buy the gift but Jo, Natalie, and Tootie decide to buy their own gift. They decide to buy a cool Hawaiian shirt for Mrs. Garrett because it's on sale. When they go to the store they find the sale has ended.  Jo decided to steal the shirt.  Later, Mrs. Garrett decides to return the shirt and discovers it was stolen.

Shoplifting

Jo's boyfriend, Eddie, surprises her by making a sudden visit to Peekskill, but she gets even more of a surprise when he proposes marriage.

Teenage Marriage  (1)

Jo is unsure of whether or not to accept Eddie's proposal but finally decides to go ahead with the wedding, despite the feelings of Mrs. Garrett, Blair, Natalie and Tootie.

Teenage Marriage  (2)

When Tootie overhears a secret that Blair tells Jo about Nancy's beau, she lets the secret slip and Nancy and Blair get into a fight which leads Blair to give Jo the silent treatment.  Things get worse, when Tootie mistakes Mrs. Garrett for being drunk, when really her eyes had been dilated by her eye doctor prompting her to be a little topsy turvy.  The rumor of Mrs. Garrett's drunken sprawl could cost her her job.

Gossip

Blair is running for class president but things get out of hand when one of the candidates commits suicide.

Breaking Point

Natalie hits it off with Neil, a boy she meets at a dance and they later begin studying together.  However, rumors are spread that Natalie and Neil did more than just study which brings on calls from a number of boys who want to study with Natalie.  Natalie encourages these rumors when she goes out with the boys due to the fact that Blair, Jo and Tootie laughed at the notion that Natalie could be a sex symbol.

Sex Symbol

Shortly after winning an award, Jo learns that her jailbird father, is getting paroled and that he would like to attend the awards ceremony.  However, an ashamed Jo, tries to keep her father from attending as well as tries to keep secret the fact that her dad is in prison.

The Secret

Tootie is selected to do a photo shoot for a fashion photographer, but Mrs. Garrett becomes increasingly concerned at the dark underbelly of the business.

Pretty Babies

Blair is selling Countess Calvert cosmetics, and she uses Natalie as a model.

Bought and Sold

Mrs. Garrett's musician son, Alex stops by Eastland for a visit, with tales about how he rubs elbows with other musicians like Neil Diamond and Carly Simon.  However, Blair smells a rat when she contradicts one of his stories and when she learns that Mrs. Garrett is still supporting him.

Free Spirit

Tootie and Natalie go to visit Tootie's aunt Sylvia.  However, they are unaware they are showing up right in the middle of a fight.  Sylvia and her husband are an interacial couple and Sylvia has just gotten a job offer in New York and Brian is not to happy about moving.

Brian and Sylvia

When Blair, Natalie and Jo tease Tootie for being the youngest, she feels left out.  This leads her to experiment with alcohol by downing an entire bottle of wine.

Growing Pains

Natalie conjures up a fear of going outside after she is attacked while coming home from a party

Fear Strikes Back

An ex-Eastlander, Alison makes a visit to Eastland to see old friends, Blair, Natalie and Tootie.  Coming back brings back memories of when life was a lot simpler, since now she is married and has a baby daughter, Emily.  When Alison leaves, however, she forgets to take along one important thing, Emily.

A Baby in the House

Blair's mother is scheduled to have plastic surgery but calls it off to make a visit to Eastland to see her daughter.  However, a mistaken phone call leads Blair to discover the truth, her mother may have breast cancer.

A Friend in Deed

Burned by her journalism teacher's scathing criticism, Jo turns out a front-page story linking him to a drug bust.

Front Page

Mrs. Garrett learns that the company that she worked for, for years has gone bankrupt thus canceling her pension fund.  This prompts her to get a second job, one that pays more that the job at Eastland.  She ultimately begins thinking of quitting her job as school dietician.

Give and Take

When her ex-fiancee, Eddie, arrives in town for a visit, Jo learns that she's growing apart from him when she finds herself attracted to the man who's playing her husband in a simulated marriage project for a class.

Sweet Sorrow

Natalie's planning a weekend of romance with her boyfriend, but when her Grandma Mona drops in unexpectedly, her romantic intentions are postponed.

From Russia with Love

The girls are all excited about a big camp-out due to the fact that it will give them a chance to be with their beaus.  However, Tootie is anything but happy and tries to wriggle her way out of going, by writing love letters from an imaginary boyfriend, in order to avoid the boy Blair is trying to fix her up with.

Dear Me

Blair's cousin, Geri, makes another visit to Peekskill and Blair sets her up with her teacher, but later Blair feels that Geri is headed for a romantic fall.

Cousin Geri Returns

Blair is thrilled that her name is going to be part of Eastland, since a large amount of money from her grandfather's estate is being donated for the building of a new library.  However, while doing a story on him for the newspaper, Natalie uncovers a shocking truth, Blair's grandfather was a member of the Ku Klux Klan.

Legacy

Natalie wants the lead in the play, South Pacific, and she won't let anyone stand in her way of getting it.  However, when Tootie is practically forced to audition and gets the lead, heaven help Tootie because Natalie is after revenge.

Green-Eyed Monster

The new Japanese student, Miko, is excited about being the newest student at Eastland as well as being in America.  However, her strict father doesn't think Eastland is a good influence especially since she snuck out to see a rock concert and borrowed Jo's bike causing $400 in damage.

The Americanization of Miko

A visitor from Mrs. Garrett's past comes to Eastland and immediately appears to sweep Mrs. Garrett off her feet.  It's apparent Mrs. Garrett and this mystery man are more than friends when Tootie catches them kissing and Blair becomes determind to discover just how serious this relationship is.

The Marriage Brokers

Tootie is the president of the Jermaine Jackson fan club and her duties as president interfere with a promise to Jo.  Later, she wins free tickets to one of his concerts and is determind to go, even if she has to hitchhike.

Starstruck

Constant squabbling between the girls prompt Mrs. Garrett to announce that the debt for wrecking the van has been paid off and they are all now free to move out and live in the dorms.  However, the girls soon realize the living above the cafeteria is something they do not want to change.

The Four Musketeers

Mrs. Garrett and the girls visit New York and have lunch in a Italian restaurant where Natalie discovers something she never expected, her father romancing someone other than her mother.  This prompts Natalie to debate whether or not to confront her father, out of fear of a divorce between her parents.

The Affair

Jo, Natalie and Blair are going to New York to see a Broadway play and a left out Tootie sneaks out to meet them in front of the theatre without Mrs. Garrett's knowledge.  However, when Tootie doesn't find the girls she stops in a coffee shop across the street unaware she's about to get a dose of the downside of New York life.

Runaway

Both Blair and Jo head to New York to meet two old friends.  Blair discovers her old friend, Dina, is the same old snob she's always been and Jo discovers her friend, Jesse, is the same old prejudiced bully she's always been.  Blair and Jo soon realize their friendship is much more meaningful.

New York, New York

Natalie has a big crush on Tim and has filled Blair's slambook with words of praise.  However, in Blair's slambook instead of signing your name you sign a number, Natalie's number is 10.  When Blair tells Tim who number 10 belongs to, Natalie is furious and wants revenge no matter who she hurts in the process.

Kids Can Be Cruel

Wanting to give Natalie a gift for helping her with her chemistry, Blair takes a peek in Natalie's diary to see if she could get an idea on what to get.  However, gifts are the last thing on Blair's mind when she discovers that Natalie thinks she's an egotistical witch.

Mind Your Own Business

A friend of Jo's, Buzz, who attends a military academy, needs her to fix him up with a wealthy socialite, since he made a bet with some of his buddies.  So Jo fixes him up with Blair who thinks he dates wealthy women including Gloria Vanderbilt's daughter.

The Academy

Jo's cousin, a 14 year old tomboy, who is lovesick, calls for her help.

Jo's Cousin

Jo stands up for her rights. She protests that books which are believed to have a bad influence on people are being banned.

Read No Evil

Jo discovers that her scholarship funds are being cut.  However, the one thing that could keep her at Eastland, she refuses to do.  That is to apply for a scholarship through Warner Industries, which is Blair's father's company.

Ain't Miss Beholden

Natalie makes up a source for the topic of her newspaper article on abortion and if she doesn't reveal who the source is, she could be kicked out of school.  However, little does she know, that there is someone at Eastland who could fill the shoes of the "made up source".

The Source

Natalie discovers that Tootie has a hearing problem. Tootie forces Natalie to keep quiet and refuses to get some help for her problem.

The Sound of Silence

Jo interviews an Eastland alumna. After her interview Jo changes her mind about giving money to the school.

The Oldest Living Graduate

Blair makes a new friend in Leo, a young man whom she tries to mold despite the fact that he's mentally retarded.  His mental retardation throws Blair for a loop and she has a hard time accepting his handicap.

Different Drummer

Natalie is excited about a job offer to write a weekly column for a New York newspaper.  The fact that the job would make her miss school as well as bring her unnecessary pressure causes her to get into an argument with her mother.  During the argument, Natalie brings up the fact that she's adopted, this leads her adopted mother to give her the name of her birth mother.

Dearest Mommie

Jo's got a great part time job as a mechanic working along side her boyfriend, Doug.  However, when her talent of fixing motorcycles causes her to get a promotion to weekend service manager, Doug gives her the cold shoulder since she is now his supervisor.

A Woman's Place

The IRS invades Blair's life when they question her tax return.  Little does Blair know that the title her dad has placed on her is a cover to get out of paying income tax.  Blair is even more heartbroken when she discovers that all the personal vacations she has taken with her dad have been written off as business trips.

Daddy's Girl

Yet another episode that revolves around the boys at a military academy.  One of the young cadets, Alfred, invites Natalie to see him box in a tournament.  However the only reason he gets into this situation is do the fact that his father suggested it.  Later, Alfred learns that his father isn't even going to attend and is now faced with the possiblity of backing out on a fight against an opponent who intimidates him.

The Big Fight

A Sadie Hawkins Day dance prompts Natalie to debate asking out a boy she's been eyeing.  However, his ignoring of her prompts her to boycott the dance and plans on spending the evening with Blair and Jo.  But when Blair and Jo get dates, Natalie is the odd woman out.

For the Asking

The latest man in Mrs. Garrett's life is Henry, her jogging buddy.  However, their relationship could turn into a marriage when he proposes.  Later, Henry hurts his back and the girls become nursemaids this gives Mrs. Garrett a quick taste of what living with Henry would be like.

September Song

A new student arrives at Eastland claiming to be a royal princess. All seems to go okay, but then Tootie catches her with a boy. Since it is against the rules to have an uninvited guest, Tootie starts to become suspicious.

A Royal Pain

Blair's latest boyfriend, Chad, means everything to her and she goes all out trying to please him.  However, one evening when he takes her out to a dance, he leaves with another woman.  This leads Blair to contemplate breaking off this ""controlling"" relationship with a man she claims to ""love"".

Magnificent Obsession

When the girls learn the Mrs. Garrett has high blood pressure, they do everything in their power to lessen the load.  Their attempts include, getting Mr. Parker to plan his own party and take care of a banking problem.  However the exploits only make matters worse when Mrs. Garrett wonders why Mr. Parker doesn't want her to plan the party and Blair's attempt at trying to fix the bank problem leads to Mrs. Garrett's car being stolen.

Under Pressure

Jo has become close friends with her English teacher, Gail, even inspiring Jo to think about becoming a teacher herself.  However, Jo is disappointed to learn that Gail is leaving Eastland presumably for a job that pays more but the real reason she's leaving is nothing Jo ever expected.

Teacher's Pet

Tootie is excited about the impending visit of her brother Marshall, however is stay becomes one of fear when he invites the girls to a college party where beer is being served.  After the party, a drunk Marshall, insisting that he isn't drunk, offers to drive Blair, Natalie and Tootie home.  However, their trip home is interrupted by an accident.

Let's Party!

Jo goes away for her first ""college weekend"" with her latest boyfriend Jason at Yale.  Just after Mrs. Garrett leaves to take Jo there, Blair's sister, Meg, arrives for a surprise visit.  Meg showing up unexpected is not the only surprise she has in store, she wants to become a nun.  That fact is something Blair has a hard time dealing with.  Meanwhile, Jo arrives back early after the car breaks down.  She later has a spiritual experience and decides she too wants to become a nun.

Best Sister  (1)

Blair, Natalie and Tootie can't believe that Jo wants to become a nun and Blair accuses Meg of recruiting.  However, the real reason Blair can't except Meg, comes to the surface when Jo and Meg begin talking about God which leads to violence between Jo and Blair.

Best Sister  (2)

Mrs. Garrett is expecting a visit from a French chef whom she once was an understudy for.  However, when he arrives with some of his relatives and then quickly departs leaving his family at Eastland, Mrs. Garrett and the girls are forced to entertain the visitors who speak no English.

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?

Natalie begins dating an attractive guy and begins spending all her time with him, which leaves Tootie out in the cold.

Who's on First?

Jo has been accepted at Langley College along with Blair but doesn't tell anyone that she has since she doesn't plan on going due to her and her parents financial situation.  However, when she takes a trip home for the weekend, she learns that her entire family found out the truth and are now counting on her to do well.

Help from Home

It's finals week at Eastland and the girls are planning an all night study session.  They soon find out that studying is going to be hard with so many distractions, including Blair and Jo's fears of the future in college and Natalie's fear of an upcoming Chemistry exam in which she must memorize the atomic symbols.

Take My Finals, Please

Graduation has everyone rushing around and Natalie and Tootie are worried that their isn't going to be enough time for Jo and Blair to say goodbye, especially since Blair and Jo are at each other's throats, as usual.

Graduation  (1)

As graduation day arrives, Monica is furious that Blair's father won't attend, Rose is furious at Charlie due to his sudden tranformation into a big spender and Natalie and Tootie are scared that they will lose Blair and Jo as friends when they leave for college.

Graduation  (2)

Jo and Blair have a hard time adjusting to college.

Brave New World  (1)

Ms Garret decides to re-open an abandoned department store and turn it into her own.

Brave New World  (2)

Blair is dying to join the sorority that's she pledging and she volunteers Mrs. Garrett to be the caterer for a rush party.  However, when Mrs. Garrett begins making Mexican before consulting Blair, who wanted Chinese, Blair fires her without a second thought.

Gamma Gamma or Bust

Jo's been dating, Bill, a plain guy who attends the same college as she does, but when she learns that he's a rich kid, Jo becomes resentful and angry that he didn't tell her the whole truth about himself.

Just My Bill

Tootie's new boyfriend, Jeff, is the star football player on the football team at Eastland.  However, she learns a startling secret that he's been keeping, he's illiterate.  She now must decide whether or not to encourage his behavior of having other kids do his work for him.

What Price Glory?

A strange man tells the girls that years ago a murder occurred in the shop. Later, when the girls see Mrs. Garret with a knife they assume that she's possessed by the murderer's spirit and is out to get them.

The Halloween Show

Natalie is allowed to enroll in a college course at Langley College and she quickly gets an overblown ego which quickly threatens her friendships with Blair, Jo and Tootie.  Things get even worse when she learns that if she can keep her grade point average up she will be allowed to graduate early and enroll at Langley in the fall.

Advance Placement

For a birthday surprise, the girls take Mrs. Garrett to a club featuring male exotic dancers, but the one who's in for the real surprise is Blair.

I'm Dancing as Fast as I Can

Streetwise Kelly alleges that the vandalism of Edna's Edibles was the work of a local gang, but Jo decides to investigate.

Small but Dangerous

Mrs. Garrett is slowly losing business to a competitor, Pete Dawson.  However, Natalie, with the help of her computer, breaks into his computer and alters his recipes.

Store Games

Jo begins seeing sparks between her divorced parents and immediately hopes they get back together.  However, her hopes quickly become dashed when she learns that her father is planning to marry another woman.

The Second Time Around

The holidays bring joy to the girls when they all plan on going home for Christmas but when Jo's mother temporarily moves to Miami, Jo is stuck in Peekskill.

The Christmas Show

While Mrs. Garrett frets over an inspection by the Board of Health, the girls get involved with a chain letter and ignore their responsibilities.

The Chain Letter

A young boy enters Edna's Edibles and Tootie befriends him and learns that he lives next door.  She also learns that his mother works all day and leaves him home alone and tells him never to leave their apartment and when a gas leak is detected on the block the young boy won't budge.

Next Door

Natalie starts dating a black guy, and Tootie thinks that Natalie hates him because of his color.

Crossing the Line

Newly elected board member Jo tackles the regents of Langley when they vote to cut academic scholarships in favor of a scoreboard nobody wants.

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